I don't know how I would describe this feeling (or is it state of being?). When I am here at my house with little to nothing to do and bored out of my wits, and a Vijay movie is only a 15 minute drive away. Yet, here I still remain unable to coerce myself to watch it. And the truth is, I really don't know why. But I assume it's a combination of all the three following reasons. One more than the other, but I will tell you which one at the end.
Well for starters, I had been "advised" to boycott Vijay's Vettaikaran as Vijay had supposedly affiliated with a music director (Vijay Anthony) or was it singer? who in turn was affiliated with the Srilankan Sinhalese people. That's all the surface detail I, and the people who had "advised" me knew too.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!
Oh yes it is. It's snowing. Christmas day is approaching People are bundled and shopping through the wee hours. I see lights shining bright like stars through my window. I walk past trees all decked in jewels. I think to myself what a wonderful time of the year it is indeed. My birthday is around the corner, followed by the New Year, it couldn't have been planned any sweeter
What is it about this time of the year that got people hopping and parading with smiles plastered across their face for everyone to see. Is it the soft spells of the falling snow? Or is it the days off work that everyone had anticipated since the beginning of the year? Maybe it's all the SALE signs posted all around. No, I know what it is.
to be continue'd....
What is it about this time of the year that got people hopping and parading with smiles plastered across their face for everyone to see. Is it the soft spells of the falling snow? Or is it the days off work that everyone had anticipated since the beginning of the year? Maybe it's all the SALE signs posted all around. No, I know what it is.
to be continue'd....
Saturday, November 7, 2009
The Stranger in the Crowd
This week my life changed a little. A chapter started in my book. I started my new position at my company, and with that came some very permanent change. I never embrace change well. A reason why I still haven't tried Sushi till this day. Then imagine my anxiety when I'm left with no choice but to travel to and from downtown Toronto on the TTC Subway. AND then the Scarborough RT. A commute totalling 1.5 hrs. I used to get to work in mere 30 minutes in my Accord. But since joining the mortal ways, I have to forgo the luxury of my car. I guess things could have been okay had I been used to the TTC. But I'm not. In fact I have had an aversion to the TTC for a long time now, my best friend can attest to this if you must know. To put things in perspective, I have not 'rode the rocket' since 2001 when I finished high school.
Monday I took the Scarborough RT to Kennedy Station. I was impressed it only took 10 minutes to get from one end to the next. I didn't know that. Okay, well I'm not here to give you the itinerary of my daily commute. No. The parallel world of unknown strangers is what got me blogging this morning. I don't think I thought about this much, I surely must have at some point though as I'm a self professed wonderer of life's ambiguity. Yet, travelling among the crowd has made me think much more on this subject.
On any given day in my life I see a set of people. My parents, my sister/brother-in-law, my younger brother, a friend or two, colleagues and Niroshan. Sometimes I have the odd days where I step out of this circle and acknowledge some extended family and friends. And this is my world.
WILL WRITE MORE.
Monday I took the Scarborough RT to Kennedy Station. I was impressed it only took 10 minutes to get from one end to the next. I didn't know that. Okay, well I'm not here to give you the itinerary of my daily commute. No. The parallel world of unknown strangers is what got me blogging this morning. I don't think I thought about this much, I surely must have at some point though as I'm a self professed wonderer of life's ambiguity. Yet, travelling among the crowd has made me think much more on this subject.
On any given day in my life I see a set of people. My parents, my sister/brother-in-law, my younger brother, a friend or two, colleagues and Niroshan. Sometimes I have the odd days where I step out of this circle and acknowledge some extended family and friends. And this is my world.
WILL WRITE MORE.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Oh Why Adhava, WHY?!
This weekend I went to watch Suriya's latest silver screen venture titled 'Aadhavan'. I don't know why I do this to myself time after time after time. Although I knew this movie was yet another crap out from the mills of Tinsel Town, Kollywood, I couldn't stop myself. I just couldn't, as for my love for tamil movies is beyond simple reasoning and justification. This is what I don't understand! How hard is it for directors and producers alike to come across a good script? Why is it always, ALWAYS, the same invincible hero and the unrealistic stunts? What happened to good characters with CHARACTER! There is no focus on character sketch or development.The actors are mere props. I was so excited to first hear that Sarojadevi was casted in this film. Yet she was just another prop! What talent wasted! At the least they can write a good script right? Nope. Not that either. The storylines are weaved with commercial nonsense, and illogical sequence of events. Even comedy tracks are unbearable, with little to do with the progression of the story! This is what they churn out in the the name of 'mass movie' - a movie for the mass!
I am sooo disappointed in Surya. So so so so so damn disappointed. I loved him because he was different. And because he cared about good story telling. I remember his good old days in movies like Friends, Pithamagan, Mounam Pesiyathay and Nandha. Even Kakka Kakka I liked in spite of Jothika's overbearing presence. The old magic must have been lost. He is yet another commercial actor like the rest of them. The fame and attention must have rode up to his head. This is clearly evident in the number of times he takes his shirt off in Varanam Ayiram! While Vijay tries to be the next Rajinikanth (which I'm all for), while Surya is following the footsteps of Kamal (not for!).
Anyways, going back to Aadhavan. It was a stupid movie. I never thought I'd say this, especially having hated her in Gajini, Nayanthara was the only pleasing portion of the movie. I loved loved her half-sarees. They were so colourful and pretty, and she, having lost so much weight, looks amazing! In conclusion, please don't waste your $10 on Adhavan, if you must watch a movie check out Jeyam Ravi's Peranmai. Atleast they should be applauded for steering away from mass commercialism! Not to mention Jeyam Ravi - who I was never too fond off - looks incredibly too hot with his new haircut.
I am sooo disappointed in Surya. So so so so so damn disappointed. I loved him because he was different. And because he cared about good story telling. I remember his good old days in movies like Friends, Pithamagan, Mounam Pesiyathay and Nandha. Even Kakka Kakka I liked in spite of Jothika's overbearing presence. The old magic must have been lost. He is yet another commercial actor like the rest of them. The fame and attention must have rode up to his head. This is clearly evident in the number of times he takes his shirt off in Varanam Ayiram! While Vijay tries to be the next Rajinikanth (which I'm all for), while Surya is following the footsteps of Kamal (not for!).
Anyways, going back to Aadhavan. It was a stupid movie. I never thought I'd say this, especially having hated her in Gajini, Nayanthara was the only pleasing portion of the movie. I loved loved her half-sarees. They were so colourful and pretty, and she, having lost so much weight, looks amazing! In conclusion, please don't waste your $10 on Adhavan, if you must watch a movie check out Jeyam Ravi's Peranmai. Atleast they should be applauded for steering away from mass commercialism! Not to mention Jeyam Ravi - who I was never too fond off - looks incredibly too hot with his new haircut.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
The Break Up of a Dear Friendship!
Question! How many of you are still best friends with your best friend from elementary school? Changes are that with the hustle and bustle of life, that dear old friend has managed to slip away from your life a long time ago. If you are lucky, maybe you are still friends. Not in the BFF kinda way. But friends who catch up once a while for coffee and conversation --- with no animosity hopefully.
I had my share of friendships over the 26 + years of my being. My very first and bestest friend that I can remember is a Tamil girl that I met in Germany at age six by the name Prashanti. My memories are vague here, but I remember going over to each other's house, watching movies, and playing doll houses. And I also remember, that the day before I left Germany to come to Canada she told me she will be either going to India or coming to Canada herself. That was 20 years ago. I haven't seen her since. I don’t even have a photograph of Prashanti. She lives in my memories now, which is really a shame because I doubt I will recognize her if she runs into me tomorrow! I also had another best friend from Germany. Her, I remember very well. Maybe I would have forgotten her too, but as small as this world likes to be, life brought us within the same circle again. We seperated after I left Germany (or after she left, not sure who did first), and Jousa! I meet her again in Canada and funny story is she is now best friends with a good friend of mine. But these are friendships of children. As meaningful, and delightful as they might have been they don't sweeten the bonds of friendship like those years of elementary school or highschool. Because here, during these years, you practically share your life day in and out with these few special people From your crushes, to your longings to your troubles --- you share your most sacred feelings and even secrets you swore you'd never tell. They were friends that were with you from early in the morning when school started or even before that while you walked to school together, till late into the evening when you'd meet them again for play time. It was a parallel world reserved for friends, where everything lasted forever and nothing had to end. You know, the time you thought twenty-year-olds were soooo damn old!
Coming Soon, ......
I had my share of friendships over the 26 + years of my being. My very first and bestest friend that I can remember is a Tamil girl that I met in Germany at age six by the name Prashanti. My memories are vague here, but I remember going over to each other's house, watching movies, and playing doll houses. And I also remember, that the day before I left Germany to come to Canada she told me she will be either going to India or coming to Canada herself. That was 20 years ago. I haven't seen her since. I don’t even have a photograph of Prashanti. She lives in my memories now, which is really a shame because I doubt I will recognize her if she runs into me tomorrow! I also had another best friend from Germany. Her, I remember very well. Maybe I would have forgotten her too, but as small as this world likes to be, life brought us within the same circle again. We seperated after I left Germany (or after she left, not sure who did first), and Jousa! I meet her again in Canada and funny story is she is now best friends with a good friend of mine. But these are friendships of children. As meaningful, and delightful as they might have been they don't sweeten the bonds of friendship like those years of elementary school or highschool. Because here, during these years, you practically share your life day in and out with these few special people From your crushes, to your longings to your troubles --- you share your most sacred feelings and even secrets you swore you'd never tell. They were friends that were with you from early in the morning when school started or even before that while you walked to school together, till late into the evening when you'd meet them again for play time. It was a parallel world reserved for friends, where everything lasted forever and nothing had to end. You know, the time you thought twenty-year-olds were soooo damn old!
Coming Soon, ......
Thursday, October 1, 2009
So in Other News......, I HATE ROGERS!
If there is one company that gets my blood boiling, it has to be Rogers Co.! By stating this of course I forgo all my options to ever work there! Not that I would want to anyway! I'm a simple person, I don't expect much from my wireless service provider just that my bills are accurate and my services uninterrupted. Yet, since 2002 when I first got a cell phone I haven't gone an entire year without having to deal with their infamous customer sevice reps. Oh, the very thought of dialing that number stirs my blood. I hate Rogers for many very important and sufficient reasons. But here is three to be specific. (I am sure thousands will agree if they only find their way to my blog).
1. I hate their service. And I hate the people that give me that service. I mean, I don't hate them personally but as Rogers' employees I most definitely do. They are the worst in customer service. I hate them even more than I hate the staff at the Transportation Ministry!!! Rogers just doesn't give a shit about their customers. All they want to do is tell you "this is the way it is, this is the way it's going to be, if you don't like it, go *&^% yourself". One thing I see everyday is Rogers bending over for potential new customers with offers of better prices and plans, while blatantly screwing over their existing customers (ME) over and over and OVER again! 2. They always kick around the little people. By little people I mean those of us that don't have any money, and by our nature, are timid to create a scene on the phone. I have always heard of hearsay stories of this and that person getting this and that by complaining and bitching, BUT NEVER ME! NEVER! Never have I ever gotten what I wanted or anything free or discounted from Rogers! Once I tried telling the guy on the phone that I'd cancel my contract if he didn't reduce my bill to it's actual amount (not the overbilling they calculated), and he simply said "Go Ahead, but just remember MA'AM (as if!!!) that your contract is in force for the next 2 years so you will be required to pay the cancellation fees." Was that a threat? I wish I had more pride, and frankly more money to have said "Yeah, ^%$* I will cancel." But all I said was, "Fine, whatever, I'll pay the bill next week". At least I said "whatever" right? That was kinda rude of me don't you think?
3. 'Cause they screwed me over more than I appreciate. Just one is too many in fact. But let's see, there was that time when they "mistakenly" switched over the service plan I had originally picked to a more costlier one due to a computer glitch. Worst part, they wouldn't allow me to switch over to my cheaper plan cause that was a special only offered during Christmas time. How did they try to make me feel better? They gave me a month of unlimited calling. Nice? No WAY. I had incoming free. And thanks to their costlier plan, now I had 500 day time minutes. So there is no freaking way I would go over that. I didn't even have a boyfriend then, damn it!!! Then there was the time they billed me $370 because they didn't realize I had unlimited incoming. After many transferrings, and waitings, and repeating my story to 5 different agents they reduced my bill to $80. If you ask me, that was still too high. But the little person I am, I said "fine, whatever". Oh how about the time I got this pathetic Tamil guy who was a Rogers representative to cancel my contract because he said he can and would even give me a brand new cell phone for free, only to realize 6 months later I am still on contract. And not just any contract, but a flippin' NEW CONTRACT, ANOTHER 3 YEARS OF ROGERS! What the heck, I still got a new phone right? WRONG. I didn't get the new phone for free! I was ENTITLED to a free phone since I was eligible for a hardware upgrade simply by renewing my contract. Conveniently the Rogers rep forgot to mention this to me. I would have never agreed to renew had I known this. I wanted off Roger's grip for so long now.
There you have it. Three out of a thousand reasons why I hate Ro-gerk-ers. Bunch of snobs, who only care about money money and more money. I am waiting for the day to be released from their chains of slavery. One more year to go...YUPEE! And in keeping with similar news...here is a funny website IHATEROGERS.CA!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
"Appa, Amma --- I Want to Marry Shalini"
One sentence. 5 words. How hard is it to say it? Apparently,.... a lot harder than I think according to my boyfriend. I am so tempted to write about my oh-so-complicated love affair with my boyfriend and his parents. My better self tells me not to. This is neither the place, nor circumstance. But my mischievous self. The one that is wholly impatient and easily irked by past injustices tells me otherwise --- 'Niroshan doesn't read your blog anyway!'. HA.
It's one of those stories. Actually, just writing that prior sentence has given me an idea. I will in fact tell you the "oh so" complicated story, without telling you anything about my story. Here's how. I will tell you the tamil movies that resemble my life. You know, the one with me, my boyfriend and his parents! Once you mesh the plots, and perhaps weed off the irrelevant elements, you just might get my story after all. Hmm...this should be fun.
Here are the movies of my life. Thirumagan (S.J. Surya, Meera Jasmine); Something Something Enakkum Unakkum (Jeyam Ravi, Trisha); Alai Payuthay (Madhavan, Shalini). This is harder than I thought. If you know tamil movies like I do, I think you already know my story.
It's one of those stories. Actually, just writing that prior sentence has given me an idea. I will in fact tell you the "oh so" complicated story, without telling you anything about my story. Here's how. I will tell you the tamil movies that resemble my life. You know, the one with me, my boyfriend and his parents! Once you mesh the plots, and perhaps weed off the irrelevant elements, you just might get my story after all. Hmm...this should be fun.
Here are the movies of my life. Thirumagan (S.J. Surya, Meera Jasmine); Something Something Enakkum Unakkum (Jeyam Ravi, Trisha); Alai Payuthay (Madhavan, Shalini). This is harder than I thought. If you know tamil movies like I do, I think you already know my story.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Vintage Dreams...
It's him. It has to be. He has on the same red plaid shirt I have seen him wearing so many days. He looks the same. But older. There is a calmness about him now. He sits there all still, staring peacefully at nothing in particular with a smile that rips my heart apart. Yes, it's definitely him. I have dreamt of that smile every night for the past 10 years. It's his inviting smile that finally gives me the nudge to walk up to him. It connects us, two supposed strangers at the most strange setting. This day has finally come. I have dreamt of it over and over again. But never assumed it will happen in this life time. What is he doing here anyway?
I can see him more clearly now, and he isn't smiling anymore. His gaze meets mine. I hold it there for a second too long. Oh crap. There is no turning back now. It is him, and he knows it's me. He must. He'll surely recognize me. A thought crosses my mind....What if he ignores me. He must have moved on. He wouldn't have waited for me. I should turn back. Pretend that I didn't see him. I have lived without him for so long, I can surely endure another lifetime. I drop my gaze towards the ground and stare down the slight ripple that's' created in the puddle near my feet. I must act now. This is too weird. I have to go....
"Shal-ni...". Oh Lord. I hear his voice once again.
I can see him more clearly now, and he isn't smiling anymore. His gaze meets mine. I hold it there for a second too long. Oh crap. There is no turning back now. It is him, and he knows it's me. He must. He'll surely recognize me. A thought crosses my mind....What if he ignores me. He must have moved on. He wouldn't have waited for me. I should turn back. Pretend that I didn't see him. I have lived without him for so long, I can surely endure another lifetime. I drop my gaze towards the ground and stare down the slight ripple that's' created in the puddle near my feet. I must act now. This is too weird. I have to go....
"Shal-ni...". Oh Lord. I hear his voice once again.
Desperate Housewives IS BACK!
Here is a sneak preview of what's to come on Desperate Housewives this season. I'm so excited! This show is one of those few things in my life that makes me unintentionally smile....and that's always the best way to smile isn't it? *sigh.
Do You Want to be Good, or Happy?
Who said you can't learn anything from watching television?! I learned 2 important lessons tonight from watching the first premiere episode of Desperate Housewives Season 6! Before I go on to say what it is I learned, here is a short history of me and DH.
Desperate Housewives is one of my ALL TIME favourite show. It's up there with FRIENDS even. I will recommend it to anyone that needs a good, uncomplicated laugh. The show follows the lives of 5 middle age women living in a suburban neighbourhood in Fairview, America. There is Susan, the main character of sort and the 'damsel in distress' heroine of the show, then there is Bree, the uptight Stepford wife kind, Gabrielle, the model turned housewife, Lynette, the one that had one to many children and of course, Eddie, the tramp of the neighbourhood. But if you ask me, they all characterize the perfect b.i.t.c.h at some point or another. Anywho..., their lives are all intertwined and injected where everybody is in everybody else's business as there is always a shroud of mystery that needs to be unravelled (often done by peering into your neighbour's window). Ha. So here is what I came across. Two very important statements that made me go...'huh'. Both related, one that extends on the first.
1. Would you rather be good, or happy? Carl asks this of Bree when she is reluctant to continue their intermittent affair. And this (if you can believe it) struck a hard cord with me. In one of my earlier post (this one) I had written about the struggles of being good. I came to write this post as I am constantly questioning what is good, and whether I can be good. So many wayward thoughts and wantings I have, yet I had chose to believe and accept that being good is the ultimate happiness. But now, with this question in mind I ask myself, 'what is the point of being good, if you are unhappy?'. I mean, why deny myself that piece of cake? Yes, not eating it would make me a good girl who sticks to her diet....., but if I eat it, it will make me happy damn it! Which is more important?!!!! Of course I am using an analogy of a cake to make my point, but this presses onto much larger issues in life. For example, should I be good and marry the person my parents deem suitable, or should I follow my heart and be happy with the person I love? And there is also the question of should I stick to the job that gives me the steady pay cheque week to week so I can support my family, or should I pursue my true passion? Or how about, should I marry the one I am with, or be happy with the one I love?
2. Feeling guilty is a small price for happiness! This is the second statement. So what if I spent the $100 I didn't have, it made me happy didn't it?! Our lives are too short, and too damn complicated to go through life all wound up. Maybe it is a good idea to wind down, and let loose your hair. Apart from the obvious of being good and evil, maybe we should just try to be the better version of ourselves that we can be, whilst being happy. If you have to deny yourself of happiness to be someone, then it just might not be worth it to be good.
...more thoughts to come..., ..I think....!
Desperate Housewives is one of my ALL TIME favourite show. It's up there with FRIENDS even. I will recommend it to anyone that needs a good, uncomplicated laugh. The show follows the lives of 5 middle age women living in a suburban neighbourhood in Fairview, America. There is Susan, the main character of sort and the 'damsel in distress' heroine of the show, then there is Bree, the uptight Stepford wife kind, Gabrielle, the model turned housewife, Lynette, the one that had one to many children and of course, Eddie, the tramp of the neighbourhood. But if you ask me, they all characterize the perfect b.i.t.c.h at some point or another. Anywho..., their lives are all intertwined and injected where everybody is in everybody else's business as there is always a shroud of mystery that needs to be unravelled (often done by peering into your neighbour's window). Ha. So here is what I came across. Two very important statements that made me go...'huh'. Both related, one that extends on the first.
1. Would you rather be good, or happy? Carl asks this of Bree when she is reluctant to continue their intermittent affair. And this (if you can believe it) struck a hard cord with me. In one of my earlier post (this one) I had written about the struggles of being good. I came to write this post as I am constantly questioning what is good, and whether I can be good. So many wayward thoughts and wantings I have, yet I had chose to believe and accept that being good is the ultimate happiness. But now, with this question in mind I ask myself, 'what is the point of being good, if you are unhappy?'. I mean, why deny myself that piece of cake? Yes, not eating it would make me a good girl who sticks to her diet....., but if I eat it, it will make me happy damn it! Which is more important?!!!! Of course I am using an analogy of a cake to make my point, but this presses onto much larger issues in life. For example, should I be good and marry the person my parents deem suitable, or should I follow my heart and be happy with the person I love? And there is also the question of should I stick to the job that gives me the steady pay cheque week to week so I can support my family, or should I pursue my true passion? Or how about, should I marry the one I am with, or be happy with the one I love?
2. Feeling guilty is a small price for happiness! This is the second statement. So what if I spent the $100 I didn't have, it made me happy didn't it?! Our lives are too short, and too damn complicated to go through life all wound up. Maybe it is a good idea to wind down, and let loose your hair. Apart from the obvious of being good and evil, maybe we should just try to be the better version of ourselves that we can be, whilst being happy. If you have to deny yourself of happiness to be someone, then it just might not be worth it to be good.
...more thoughts to come..., ..I think....!
Friday, September 25, 2009
my sister's keeper
It's been only minutes since I finished the last pages of 'My Sister's Keeper' by Jodi Picoult. I'm no professional book critic or reviewer, but simply as a person that has read this book I want to say a few things about this book. I believe I have earned that much. Here goes a list of thoughts, opinions and strange reflections (in no particular order of course).
1. death, dying, waiting to die...., all take (once again) precedence in this book too. This is exactly what I alluded to in my previous post here. A great book, one that will leave lasting impressions, or even immediate contentment of having read a fine book almost always has death as a backdrop. What is it about death and loss that pulls at our heartstrings, and knots our stomach and wells up our eyes? Maybe because it's the one thing in our lives that we have no control over, and choose to understand the least.
2. Anna, the main character, wants to be emancipated from her parents. Not so she can get her hands on her trust fund, or party past her curfew. Rather, she wants to be 'medically emancipated' from her parents. The right to her own body. The right to decide whether she wants to donate a kidney to her terminally ill older sister. My first thought of Anna was of course selfish. How could she not want to save her own sister's life? She is not old enough to make those decisions herself. She will grow up to regret it. But when you read on and get to know Anna, you understand her better. It's not that I agreed with her, but you understand why she has taken such a drastic measure. Sometimes, feeling invisible is worse than any sickness. At least with sickness comes attention.
3. Campbell and Julia. Their story is a subplot to My Sister's Keeper. Nevertheless, just as engaging and kind of like the inevitable love story that's always included in a novel. I liked both their character sketch. Fate and love abandons them, only to bring them together many years after. I'm a sucker for any story that has ANY resemblance to the following: boy meets girl. boy and girl fall in love. boy leaves girl for unknown reasons. girl is devastated. boy comes back, tells girl, 'he had to leave'. Ah. There is a reason after all.
4. 'Armchair Astronomer'. Prior to this book I was not familiar with this term. But now it's a term that is perfect to describe my boyfriend. Like Brian, the father of Anna, Niroshan too is an armchair astronomer. Niroshan loves to watch space documentaries of faraway galaxies, and burning stars. If you ask him, he won't be able to recall what he did last weekend, but if you were to ask him if the sun will ever burn out, he will explain it to you in all its gaiety and particulars. Some times when I am on the phone with him and nearing the brink of sleep, I ask him to 'talk' about space. As he embarks on supernovas, gamma rays, and black holes, I will cozily fall asleep. It's like our own little story time, except I'm not listening.
5. There is a passage in the book that reads "In the English language there are orphans and widows, but there is no word for the parent who loses a child". Hmmm. Never thought of it like that. How true it is.
6. Mother. Synonymous with sacrifice.
7. This book was made into a motion picture film and was released just this summer. I have to watch it now that I have read and liked the book. One of my friend just told me last week the movie was better than the book. That was the first I heard. It's always the book that is better than the movie right? So now I am curious. Can't wait. Save me two seats at AMC Kennedy.
1. death, dying, waiting to die...., all take (once again) precedence in this book too. This is exactly what I alluded to in my previous post here. A great book, one that will leave lasting impressions, or even immediate contentment of having read a fine book almost always has death as a backdrop. What is it about death and loss that pulls at our heartstrings, and knots our stomach and wells up our eyes? Maybe because it's the one thing in our lives that we have no control over, and choose to understand the least.
2. Anna, the main character, wants to be emancipated from her parents. Not so she can get her hands on her trust fund, or party past her curfew. Rather, she wants to be 'medically emancipated' from her parents. The right to her own body. The right to decide whether she wants to donate a kidney to her terminally ill older sister. My first thought of Anna was of course selfish. How could she not want to save her own sister's life? She is not old enough to make those decisions herself. She will grow up to regret it. But when you read on and get to know Anna, you understand her better. It's not that I agreed with her, but you understand why she has taken such a drastic measure. Sometimes, feeling invisible is worse than any sickness. At least with sickness comes attention.
3. Campbell and Julia. Their story is a subplot to My Sister's Keeper. Nevertheless, just as engaging and kind of like the inevitable love story that's always included in a novel. I liked both their character sketch. Fate and love abandons them, only to bring them together many years after. I'm a sucker for any story that has ANY resemblance to the following: boy meets girl. boy and girl fall in love. boy leaves girl for unknown reasons. girl is devastated. boy comes back, tells girl, 'he had to leave'. Ah. There is a reason after all.
4. 'Armchair Astronomer'. Prior to this book I was not familiar with this term. But now it's a term that is perfect to describe my boyfriend. Like Brian, the father of Anna, Niroshan too is an armchair astronomer. Niroshan loves to watch space documentaries of faraway galaxies, and burning stars. If you ask him, he won't be able to recall what he did last weekend, but if you were to ask him if the sun will ever burn out, he will explain it to you in all its gaiety and particulars. Some times when I am on the phone with him and nearing the brink of sleep, I ask him to 'talk' about space. As he embarks on supernovas, gamma rays, and black holes, I will cozily fall asleep. It's like our own little story time, except I'm not listening.
5. There is a passage in the book that reads "In the English language there are orphans and widows, but there is no word for the parent who loses a child". Hmmm. Never thought of it like that. How true it is.
6. Mother. Synonymous with sacrifice.
7. This book was made into a motion picture film and was released just this summer. I have to watch it now that I have read and liked the book. One of my friend just told me last week the movie was better than the book. That was the first I heard. It's always the book that is better than the movie right? So now I am curious. Can't wait. Save me two seats at AMC Kennedy.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Achieving Greatness!
One of my prayer at temples has always been, and will be, to be a good person. A good human being. What do I mean by 'good'? Not a saint definitely. But someone that characterizes humility, sincerity and happiness. A person that has come to understand, life can be beautiful as long as you are happy with the small blessings in life. Like my health. My family. The crystal faux chandelier in my room. My boyfriend, good friends, conversations and coffee. Or my mother's spicy chicken curry, and my dad's mouth watering keera curry! Every time I sneak a spoon of my dad's spinach curry right off the pot, I can't help myself but utter "sabaash!". These are the blessings of my life...
But it's not easy being good is it? So I have noticed.
With the endless pursuit of material likings, and shameless vanity, it's hard to count your blessings. Rather, it's much easier to compare and realize what it is that you weren't blessed with. Like a pretty nose for starters! hahahah. Why do we always compare ourselves to those that have more money, or more beautiful than us? What is money and beauty anyways? One, which in its very nature will never be enough, and the other, destined to quietly slip away. It's not jealousy. It's called pity. Pity on your own self. And the sad truth is, every one is guilty of it. Unless of course, your prayer was answered.
I try. Being good entails being happy. I am not always happy. And it's by my own doing than anyone else's, even God's. Because most of the misgivings in my life are my own fault. I am inevitably accountable. Like my...
to be continue'd, .......
But it's not easy being good is it? So I have noticed.
With the endless pursuit of material likings, and shameless vanity, it's hard to count your blessings. Rather, it's much easier to compare and realize what it is that you weren't blessed with. Like a pretty nose for starters! hahahah. Why do we always compare ourselves to those that have more money, or more beautiful than us? What is money and beauty anyways? One, which in its very nature will never be enough, and the other, destined to quietly slip away. It's not jealousy. It's called pity. Pity on your own self. And the sad truth is, every one is guilty of it. Unless of course, your prayer was answered.
I try. Being good entails being happy. I am not always happy. And it's by my own doing than anyone else's, even God's. Because most of the misgivings in my life are my own fault. I am inevitably accountable. Like my...
to be continue'd, .......
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Time is Everything....; Time is Nothing!
The concept of time..., where did it come from? Which idiot thought of it. What is time anyways? Is it the long hours that never seem to pass quickly enough at work? Or is it the crawling minutes when I wait for someone outside their house? Maybe it's the 'time' that is never enough for people. Time gone too fast - youth and beauty that seemed endless at one point, is now slowly but decidedly fading with each ticks and tocks of the old clock.
I am going to turn 27 this year. TWENTY SEVEN. That's 9909 days. 237, 816 hours. All gone by. Never to come back again. Never. Jousa! Where have all the years gone? I will tell you the best years of my life; 1988-1992, 1994, 1998-99, 2000, 2005. I cant' remember the early years. I have trouble even remembering what I did last week, or who I met, so to recall times in my early years is like trying to milk alcohol out of a cow! I am sure I had the best times of my life before 1988. That's when I had grandparents, cows, dogs, and a front lawn to play all day. Certainly I would have laughed with no hint of suppression. Unlike my laugh today. It's tainted with knowledge. Knowledge that teaches you with every tragedy, that sometimes when you laugh, you will have to cry too....
That's why I never laugh too loudly or freely. If I did, I make certain for penance. It's not fair I tell myself sometimes. Why is there a dark shadow over my being, in my conscious, in the words that I speak, in the thoughts I pore, like it has seeped deep within my marrow. Why can't I be free ....like the rest of them....then I ask myself...are they? Are they free? How could I possibly know. For all I gather, they are seeing me laugh freely. People used to say I am lucky. I never understood why. Now that they know, they won't repeat the same mistake again. At least I hope not. I have changed, my life has changed, .....time has changed.
Can I bead the happy years on a string and leave the rest? How many years will I miss out. How many hours. What will be the final count. Then how old will I really be.
I am going to turn 27 this year. TWENTY SEVEN. That's 9909 days. 237, 816 hours. All gone by. Never to come back again. Never. Jousa! Where have all the years gone? I will tell you the best years of my life; 1988-1992, 1994, 1998-99, 2000, 2005. I cant' remember the early years. I have trouble even remembering what I did last week, or who I met, so to recall times in my early years is like trying to milk alcohol out of a cow! I am sure I had the best times of my life before 1988. That's when I had grandparents, cows, dogs, and a front lawn to play all day. Certainly I would have laughed with no hint of suppression. Unlike my laugh today. It's tainted with knowledge. Knowledge that teaches you with every tragedy, that sometimes when you laugh, you will have to cry too....
That's why I never laugh too loudly or freely. If I did, I make certain for penance. It's not fair I tell myself sometimes. Why is there a dark shadow over my being, in my conscious, in the words that I speak, in the thoughts I pore, like it has seeped deep within my marrow. Why can't I be free ....like the rest of them....then I ask myself...are they? Are they free? How could I possibly know. For all I gather, they are seeing me laugh freely. People used to say I am lucky. I never understood why. Now that they know, they won't repeat the same mistake again. At least I hope not. I have changed, my life has changed, .....time has changed.
Can I bead the happy years on a string and leave the rest? How many years will I miss out. How many hours. What will be the final count. Then how old will I really be.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Why I Like to Read...
Right now I am reading 'The Time Traveler's Wife' by Audrey Niffenegger. I just put that aside so I can ponder the Internet and stumbled on my blog again. Although I am loving typing this very minute, the anticipation of actually writing something always puts me off. I wonder if that negates the idea I have of me as liking to write? hmmm.
Anyways. I'm half way through The Time Traveler's Wife and I'm liking it thus far. It's very different from all the books I have read. It's an entirely new concept, well unless of course you count the movie 'Back to the Future'. But this book is different, this is a love story. It's about a guy, Henry, who is a time traveller, and his wife, Clare, who is not. Clare loved Henry when she was six. Henry only loved Clare when he was 29. That's because Henry went back in time and met young Clare, when he was married to Clare in the present. But the Henry Clare meets at 20, doesn't' know Clare, because he still hasn't met young Clare yet. ...., complicated? A tad bit!
But that's how the story goes, and it's been pretty engaging with all it's imaginative story telling. Even as I'm half way through the book, I find myself waiting impatiently for the 'big story', cause you can almost tell from the beginning that something is going to go wrong. I have to constantly remind myself to take in each page as it comes, and not rush through the story. AND why is it that all good stories, or rather heartbreaking stories all allude to death and/or loss? Maybe except Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (which I absolutely adore!) But I will write about this book (perhaps) later, right now I want to stay true to my blog title, and that is Why I Read!
Like I mentioned, I am reading The Time Traveler's Wife now. Before this, I read 'I am So Happy for You'. And before that I read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling! I also read Pride and Prejudice very recently too over the summer. Next, I will be reading 'My Sister's Keeper' by Jodi Picoult and after that, 'A Fine Balance'. I know this because I have those two books ready to be read. I ordered 4 books last week on Amazon.ca. It was my first time, and it was a joyous occasion for me. The excitement of receiving a package at home through mail was surprisingly joyous.
I have always read since my younger days. I sometimes catch my dad telling relatives or guests about my reading, and sometimes rather proudly I suppose. And truth is, I am proud of my reading too. Recently, over the last year I have taken a very deliberate effort to buy books and expand my book collection. I like reading because it takes me to different worlds, and allows me to peek into different lives. People and places I would never meet or visit in this lifetime. Every book I read is like a secret world that I was allowed to step in and experience. As I let my imagination take over, I feel as though I am right there following the main characters through their lives. Sometimes, I get so attached to certain characters that I wind up overwhelmingly sad when I finish a book. I will no longer be part of their lives :(
Reading allows me to be unexceptional. I'm not the only one that has lost someone, or had my heart broken. And that I'm not the only one that reads magazines while in the bathroom. Nor am I the only one that is self-conscious. Nor am I the only one that has bad moods. It makes me realize there is far more suffering in this world than what I can account through watching movies, and news broadcasts. When you read a book, as fictitious as they may be, you know there is some one out there some where that felt this pain, and suffered through this loss. And reading personal adaptations are more significant than watching television through your eyes and ears. Reading goes to your heart, and you feel it.
Anyways. I'm half way through The Time Traveler's Wife and I'm liking it thus far. It's very different from all the books I have read. It's an entirely new concept, well unless of course you count the movie 'Back to the Future'. But this book is different, this is a love story. It's about a guy, Henry, who is a time traveller, and his wife, Clare, who is not. Clare loved Henry when she was six. Henry only loved Clare when he was 29. That's because Henry went back in time and met young Clare, when he was married to Clare in the present. But the Henry Clare meets at 20, doesn't' know Clare, because he still hasn't met young Clare yet. ...., complicated? A tad bit!
But that's how the story goes, and it's been pretty engaging with all it's imaginative story telling. Even as I'm half way through the book, I find myself waiting impatiently for the 'big story', cause you can almost tell from the beginning that something is going to go wrong. I have to constantly remind myself to take in each page as it comes, and not rush through the story. AND why is it that all good stories, or rather heartbreaking stories all allude to death and/or loss? Maybe except Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (which I absolutely adore!) But I will write about this book (perhaps) later, right now I want to stay true to my blog title, and that is Why I Read!
Like I mentioned, I am reading The Time Traveler's Wife now. Before this, I read 'I am So Happy for You'. And before that I read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling! I also read Pride and Prejudice very recently too over the summer. Next, I will be reading 'My Sister's Keeper' by Jodi Picoult and after that, 'A Fine Balance'. I know this because I have those two books ready to be read. I ordered 4 books last week on Amazon.ca. It was my first time, and it was a joyous occasion for me. The excitement of receiving a package at home through mail was surprisingly joyous.
I have always read since my younger days. I sometimes catch my dad telling relatives or guests about my reading, and sometimes rather proudly I suppose. And truth is, I am proud of my reading too. Recently, over the last year I have taken a very deliberate effort to buy books and expand my book collection. I like reading because it takes me to different worlds, and allows me to peek into different lives. People and places I would never meet or visit in this lifetime. Every book I read is like a secret world that I was allowed to step in and experience. As I let my imagination take over, I feel as though I am right there following the main characters through their lives. Sometimes, I get so attached to certain characters that I wind up overwhelmingly sad when I finish a book. I will no longer be part of their lives :(
Reading allows me to be unexceptional. I'm not the only one that has lost someone, or had my heart broken. And that I'm not the only one that reads magazines while in the bathroom. Nor am I the only one that is self-conscious. Nor am I the only one that has bad moods. It makes me realize there is far more suffering in this world than what I can account through watching movies, and news broadcasts. When you read a book, as fictitious as they may be, you know there is some one out there some where that felt this pain, and suffered through this loss. And reading personal adaptations are more significant than watching television through your eyes and ears. Reading goes to your heart, and you feel it.
Friday, August 28, 2009
The $30 Haircut!
I know what you're thinking. What's so bad about a 30 dollar haircut eh? That sounds sooo reasonable in fact. Well you would be right, it would have been perfectly acceptable....HAD I CUT MY HAIR. The truth is, ..... my BOYFRIEND got a $30 haircut. That's right! 30 DOLLARS for a men's haircut. And you know what's the worst part? I HAD TO PAY FOR IT!!!
To better illustrate this highly irritable story, one thing must be said. I come from a household of men(my dad and younger brother) that pay no more, I mean NO MORE than $8 per haircut. And that's only when the salon that charges $5 is closed! So you can imagine the absurdity of paying thirty hard earned dollars for a simple haircut, and that too especially for my boyfriend's hair. URGH!
You know what's the turning point of this story is (if I can call it that)? I AM the guilty perpetrator. Because it was me, ME, MEEEE that gently coerced him into going to a high end salon to get his haircut this month! If you want to know....., it was just not any ordinary monthly haircut. He needed his hair cut for his sister's wedding, so this makes it more justifiable I suppose. There is more to it however....
I outrightly hate my boyfriend's taste in hairstyle. He likes it short and combed down. He claims it's the "only" way to look professional at work. I like it long, and slicked back. The way I first met him!!! We have had countless arguments and petty bickerings solely on this difference. What irks me more is the fact that he absolutely and positively believes he looks better with short hair!!! Trust me, I know my men, and short hair does NOT suit YOU!!!!!!!! Sorry..., oops.....I meant short hair does not suit him. If you see my boyfriend, you'd immediately agree with me. He looks so much, infinitely, better in long, slicked back hair. Just to be sure, when I say long, I don't mean long enough for ponytail long. Oh no, I passed that stage in my life loooong time ago. I only want his hair long enough, so he can casually comb it back with ease.
Over the years we have slowly (and grudgingly) come to a compromise of sort. I get to decide how he cuts his hair (muhahahha), as long as it still remains "somewhat" professional enough for work. This has worked for quite some time now, but recently, mainly due to my negligence, he had been going alone to get his haircuts. And low and behold, of course his hair is cut short short! So I decided this time I will not pass on an opportunity to excercise my right over his hair. That's why I suggested, yes I SUGGESTED that we try a different salon this time, one that has someone that can speak English preferrably. So we drove down to Markville Mall and went to a salon there. There Niroshan came with the bright idea that I should pay for this haircut, since it was I that "cared" so much. Fair enough. Atleast he trusted me. So that's why I paid.
To better illustrate this highly irritable story, one thing must be said. I come from a household of men(my dad and younger brother) that pay no more, I mean NO MORE than $8 per haircut. And that's only when the salon that charges $5 is closed! So you can imagine the absurdity of paying thirty hard earned dollars for a simple haircut, and that too especially for my boyfriend's hair. URGH!
You know what's the turning point of this story is (if I can call it that)? I AM the guilty perpetrator. Because it was me, ME, MEEEE that gently coerced him into going to a high end salon to get his haircut this month! If you want to know....., it was just not any ordinary monthly haircut. He needed his hair cut for his sister's wedding, so this makes it more justifiable I suppose. There is more to it however....
I outrightly hate my boyfriend's taste in hairstyle. He likes it short and combed down. He claims it's the "only" way to look professional at work. I like it long, and slicked back. The way I first met him!!! We have had countless arguments and petty bickerings solely on this difference. What irks me more is the fact that he absolutely and positively believes he looks better with short hair!!! Trust me, I know my men, and short hair does NOT suit YOU!!!!!!!! Sorry..., oops.....I meant short hair does not suit him. If you see my boyfriend, you'd immediately agree with me. He looks so much, infinitely, better in long, slicked back hair. Just to be sure, when I say long, I don't mean long enough for ponytail long. Oh no, I passed that stage in my life loooong time ago. I only want his hair long enough, so he can casually comb it back with ease.
Over the years we have slowly (and grudgingly) come to a compromise of sort. I get to decide how he cuts his hair (muhahahha), as long as it still remains "somewhat" professional enough for work. This has worked for quite some time now, but recently, mainly due to my negligence, he had been going alone to get his haircuts. And low and behold, of course his hair is cut short short! So I decided this time I will not pass on an opportunity to excercise my right over his hair. That's why I suggested, yes I SUGGESTED that we try a different salon this time, one that has someone that can speak English preferrably. So we drove down to Markville Mall and went to a salon there. There Niroshan came with the bright idea that I should pay for this haircut, since it was I that "cared" so much. Fair enough. Atleast he trusted me. So that's why I paid.
Was it worth it for the $30? Hmmm....no not really. The lady still cut his hair, which meant it is still shorter than what he had walked in with. But was it better than his combed down, school boy look? OH Yes, most definitely. She cut it in a way that when his hair grows now, he can just slick it back and not have to worry about his fade growing out too fast. I hope this sets the standard for all future haircuts, but of course minuse the $30.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
In the Absence of Love.
Is it true that every one in this world has loved someone? Not the love a mother feels for her child....but romantic love. The kind of love that slowly creeps up into an unknown heart. The kind of love that makes daydreaming a favourable escape and waiting impossible. Does this mean that everyone has felt the fluttering wings of the thousand butterflies inside them? Where one starts to dream with their eyes open? But is it also possible that someone has not ever loved anyone? .....
I have always loved I believe. From the age I could remember love, I have loved somebody. Did I know it was called love then? Most probably not. But looking back, I can surely say I loved him. A childhood crush? Yes. It started like that. But fate had it that I should love him again, so I did. And I have loved him since. The day I marry him will be my happily ever after....
But thats' me. I had always been the fool for love, a hopless romantic even. That's known however. What has boggled my mind recently is a thought that stirred much interest in me. What about those that I know and positively believe never has loved someone romantically? It may be that they liked someone in their unassuming younger age, but what about now. Have they loved someone? Or is it just that I dont know them well enough.
I have always loved I believe. From the age I could remember love, I have loved somebody. Did I know it was called love then? Most probably not. But looking back, I can surely say I loved him. A childhood crush? Yes. It started like that. But fate had it that I should love him again, so I did. And I have loved him since. The day I marry him will be my happily ever after....
But thats' me. I had always been the fool for love, a hopless romantic even. That's known however. What has boggled my mind recently is a thought that stirred much interest in me. What about those that I know and positively believe never has loved someone romantically? It may be that they liked someone in their unassuming younger age, but what about now. Have they loved someone? Or is it just that I dont know them well enough.
The Green Tea Saga Continues...
Hello. So here is the update. If you remember correctly, I had recently undertaken the consumption of green tea for none other than for a purely superficial reason - weight loss. It's been I think 2 weeks, maybe 2 and a half, or even close to 3 now. Oh well...but good news is,....I have, willingly and sometimes forcefully, stuck with drinking only, and I mean ONLY green tea for the entire duration. I completely cut out one of the few favourite delights in life: coffee with cream and lots of sugar. AND now...am I not only drinking green tea, but consequently I have also cut out refined sugar! How amazing is that? You would think pretty amazing if only you had known my weekly coffee consumption. I am a self-proclaimed coffee junk....., well, not anymore I suppose!
I know the burning question must be,..."so have you?" You mean, have I lost weight? Honest answer? ....Yes...at least I think so. Minimal? probably, but surely? Yes. How do I know this? Well, everyone knows the best indicator of weight loss is never the topsy-turvy scale! Rather, it's your old jeans and my favourite, an old saree blouse. I prefer the saree blouse over the jeans simply because jeans are more susceptible to waist blubber, which can be shamelessly adjusted by skipping a few meals. But the saree blouse is more stubborn. It wont, and I know this by first hand, and that is, it just wont accommodate any extra 'flesh' than what it was originally designed for! It fits around the most 'vulnerable' parts of your body, the parts that takes a long term commitment of any diet or exercises regime to notice any substantial change. That's why, when I tried on a saree blouse from my younger days, you can imagine the surprise when it had actually fit me!!! Did it fit as well as it should have? Hell NO! But at least this time I could close all the buttons on the blouse! hahahh.
So change is possible. But of course I dont want to get ahead of myself. Only one knows how many times this has been attempted at time after time. Nevertheless, this green tea is new and apparently here to stay. I have actually come to like it. I bought a more mild form than the one my parents are accustomed to, I bought the Tetley Green Tea. It's definitely less nauseating to be sure. It's a shocker, but some times I find myself craving for it too. Especially when I wake from an afternoon nap. This is soooo not Shalini. But I guess I have to grow up at some point right? For me ...green tea just might have showed me the way....
I know the burning question must be,..."so have you?" You mean, have I lost weight? Honest answer? ....Yes...at least I think so. Minimal? probably, but surely? Yes. How do I know this? Well, everyone knows the best indicator of weight loss is never the topsy-turvy scale! Rather, it's your old jeans and my favourite, an old saree blouse. I prefer the saree blouse over the jeans simply because jeans are more susceptible to waist blubber, which can be shamelessly adjusted by skipping a few meals. But the saree blouse is more stubborn. It wont, and I know this by first hand, and that is, it just wont accommodate any extra 'flesh' than what it was originally designed for! It fits around the most 'vulnerable' parts of your body, the parts that takes a long term commitment of any diet or exercises regime to notice any substantial change. That's why, when I tried on a saree blouse from my younger days, you can imagine the surprise when it had actually fit me!!! Did it fit as well as it should have? Hell NO! But at least this time I could close all the buttons on the blouse! hahahh.
So change is possible. But of course I dont want to get ahead of myself. Only one knows how many times this has been attempted at time after time. Nevertheless, this green tea is new and apparently here to stay. I have actually come to like it. I bought a more mild form than the one my parents are accustomed to, I bought the Tetley Green Tea. It's definitely less nauseating to be sure. It's a shocker, but some times I find myself craving for it too. Especially when I wake from an afternoon nap. This is soooo not Shalini. But I guess I have to grow up at some point right? For me ...green tea just might have showed me the way....
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Tell Me My Love...
Tell me what it is that you love so dearly about me? Is it the way I love you back? Or is it the way I find your hand, and interlock my fingers with yours? Maybe it's the way I say I love you to you. Or perhaps, it's the way I stand next to you, with as little space as possible. No. I think it's the way I brush your hair behind your ears. Or even the secret glimpses I pass your way when you are not looking. So which is it my love? Tell me what it is you love about me?
Tell me what it is that you hate so much about me? Is it because I call one too many times back when you don't answer your phone? Or is it the the few times you saw me stare out the window when you talk to me? Maybe it's the way I tell you that I want it my way. Or perhaps you think I still hold a grudge against your family? No. I think it's because I always have something smart to say about your friends? Or even the cranky voice I greet you with at times when I had little sleep. So which is it my love? Tell me what it is that you hate about me?
Tell me what it is that you hate so much about me? Is it because I call one too many times back when you don't answer your phone? Or is it the the few times you saw me stare out the window when you talk to me? Maybe it's the way I tell you that I want it my way. Or perhaps you think I still hold a grudge against your family? No. I think it's because I always have something smart to say about your friends? Or even the cranky voice I greet you with at times when I had little sleep. So which is it my love? Tell me what it is that you hate about me?
Monday, August 10, 2009
Music and Lyrics
I have always liked Tamil movie songs. From love songs, to family songs to 'autokaran' songs. I have liked them all. So it should not come as a wonder that I understand Tamil pretty well. Actually, filmy Tamil that is. One of my favourite song is "Palamuthir Solai Enakahathan" from Varusham 16. Such an incredible song composed by Illayarajah and sung by K. Jesudas. It takes me back 20 years instantly. It is the lyrics, the meanings behind each sentence, and the subtle hints at happiness that makes this song amazing.
My boyfriend on the other hand, (I think you have met him before?) Niroshan likes tamil songs too. But strangely enough,.....he doesn't understand the lyrics. His understanding of Tamil songs is similar to what it would feel like when reading off subtitles from Tamil movies. I tell him it's not the same. And that he is missing out on much, like the lyrics and the images and sensations it evokes on an individual when listening to a song. Don't' get me wrong. The music is great too. There are many songs I do like and only like because of its music and nothing more. For example, the song "Minnal Oru Kodi Enthan Uyir Thedi Vanthathay" (Hariharan, Chitra) from VIP is onc such song. I can understand the lyrics, and it's beautiful at times, but the music is what carries the song.
If you think about, and this is what I thought about. This is not a serious problem for the newer generation, or for people like Niroshan. All the newer songs nowadays are accompanied with good, stylish modern music. So irrespective of lyrics they will continue to listen and appreciate Tamil songs. But what is lost on them are the older Tamil songs. The hundresds upon hundreds of beautiful Tamil songs filled with Tamil phrases and words. The ones that had molded the Tamil language in a way that every sentence carries a conversation with our hearts....*sigh.
In order to "correct" this unfortunate, but tolerable flaw in Niroshan, we have come to do something regularly on our car rides, especially the long rides I love so much. This is what we do. We play a Tamil song, and after each sentence or two, I pause the CD player and ask Niroshan to explain what he just heard. At times he impresses me with his descent knowledge of Tamil. But that impression is short lived mostly, as he is often lost in translation.....even after the 16th time of replaying the same sentence over and over again! The most recent attempt at this was for the song "Veesum Katruku Poovai Theriyatha" (Unnikrishnan) from Ullasam. This is a fairly easy to understand song, with day to day Tamil language. Niroshan did a commendable job, his first translation of the title was....'the flower doesn't' know the wind'. Close? perhaps...., but true to it's content? No, he has more car rides ahead of him.
My boyfriend on the other hand, (I think you have met him before?) Niroshan likes tamil songs too. But strangely enough,.....he doesn't understand the lyrics. His understanding of Tamil songs is similar to what it would feel like when reading off subtitles from Tamil movies. I tell him it's not the same. And that he is missing out on much, like the lyrics and the images and sensations it evokes on an individual when listening to a song. Don't' get me wrong. The music is great too. There are many songs I do like and only like because of its music and nothing more. For example, the song "Minnal Oru Kodi Enthan Uyir Thedi Vanthathay" (Hariharan, Chitra) from VIP is onc such song. I can understand the lyrics, and it's beautiful at times, but the music is what carries the song.
If you think about, and this is what I thought about. This is not a serious problem for the newer generation, or for people like Niroshan. All the newer songs nowadays are accompanied with good, stylish modern music. So irrespective of lyrics they will continue to listen and appreciate Tamil songs. But what is lost on them are the older Tamil songs. The hundresds upon hundreds of beautiful Tamil songs filled with Tamil phrases and words. The ones that had molded the Tamil language in a way that every sentence carries a conversation with our hearts....*sigh.
In order to "correct" this unfortunate, but tolerable flaw in Niroshan, we have come to do something regularly on our car rides, especially the long rides I love so much. This is what we do. We play a Tamil song, and after each sentence or two, I pause the CD player and ask Niroshan to explain what he just heard. At times he impresses me with his descent knowledge of Tamil. But that impression is short lived mostly, as he is often lost in translation.....even after the 16th time of replaying the same sentence over and over again! The most recent attempt at this was for the song "Veesum Katruku Poovai Theriyatha" (Unnikrishnan) from Ullasam. This is a fairly easy to understand song, with day to day Tamil language. Niroshan did a commendable job, his first translation of the title was....'the flower doesn't' know the wind'. Close? perhaps...., but true to it's content? No, he has more car rides ahead of him.
Monday, August 3, 2009
I am Writing...
I am writing today because I want to. And almost have to. It's just so many things have been on my mind, and in my circle and I am starting to wonder the realism of what is my life.
Do you know how I know I am old? There was a time in my life when well intentioned (or not) - uncles and aunts used to ask me, "what are you going to be when you grow up shalini?", "shalinikku enava vara virupam valantha pirahu?". I don't' remember what I used to say, perhaps a doctor? but I doubt it,.... even as a child I don't believe I was much ambitious. Nonetheless, this is what I know now. I can no longer answer that question. I am 26 for one. That constitutes 'grown up' right?! . And now that I am all grown up, I know more, and like they say ....'with wisdom comes great sorrow'. Isn't it sad really? I can never say I want to be "this" when I grow up. That time has passed me by...., were my eyes open?
Did you know sometimes he still whispers to me? He wrote me a letter today. After so many years of silence, and quite rebuttals, he decided to write me an unsealed letter. It didn't say Dear Shalini...., it began......Shalni...just like how he'd say my name. I didn't read it of course. He read it to me. I think I heard his voice. He didn't whisper this time.
How do you stop someone from crashing their own world? A world they had once built with so much love, time, patience and courage. A world that has now become too small that it is takes complete effort and concentration just to breathe. How does one escape that? What if that some one is a friend? Do you stand back and watch, or do you step inside their crushing world?
Why do so many people come into our lives, but only a few stay? Do you know the story of my life? The haunting of my pasts that still lingers around my shadows are mostly unknown to the adorned gaze. Everyday seems a struggle like another day in the past. How do you go on living when you know everything can be lost in a single moment? what am i not saying....,
Do you know how I know I am old? There was a time in my life when well intentioned (or not) - uncles and aunts used to ask me, "what are you going to be when you grow up shalini?", "shalinikku enava vara virupam valantha pirahu?". I don't' remember what I used to say, perhaps a doctor? but I doubt it,.... even as a child I don't believe I was much ambitious. Nonetheless, this is what I know now. I can no longer answer that question. I am 26 for one. That constitutes 'grown up' right?! . And now that I am all grown up, I know more, and like they say ....'with wisdom comes great sorrow'. Isn't it sad really? I can never say I want to be "this" when I grow up. That time has passed me by...., were my eyes open?
Did you know sometimes he still whispers to me? He wrote me a letter today. After so many years of silence, and quite rebuttals, he decided to write me an unsealed letter. It didn't say Dear Shalini...., it began......Shalni...just like how he'd say my name. I didn't read it of course. He read it to me. I think I heard his voice. He didn't whisper this time.
How do you stop someone from crashing their own world? A world they had once built with so much love, time, patience and courage. A world that has now become too small that it is takes complete effort and concentration just to breathe. How does one escape that? What if that some one is a friend? Do you stand back and watch, or do you step inside their crushing world?
Why do so many people come into our lives, but only a few stay? Do you know the story of my life? The haunting of my pasts that still lingers around my shadows are mostly unknown to the adorned gaze. Everyday seems a struggle like another day in the past. How do you go on living when you know everything can be lost in a single moment? what am i not saying....,
Thursday, July 9, 2009
What's in a Green Tea?!
Green tea was one of those things that I swore to myself that I wouldn't succumb to. Not even during my most desperate attempts at weight loss. yet. YET, here I am, drinking green tea!!! What does this mean?! Oh boy, I have become utterly desperate haven't I?. It's no secret that any girl past 20 years of age, and well over 110lbs is in search of an agreeable diet (How Jane Austen of me!). And so am I. I am 26, and I weight......, HA I'm sorry, I don't think I know you well enough! Besides, this blog wasn't all about candidness was it? Either way, my weight is not the issue. I mean, my exact weight is not the issue. The issue is, like every other girl I know, well maybe except my sister right now, is trying to lose weight. Or to be more friendly to those in denial, at least are trying to "tone" their body.
I don't remember the exact day, month or even year I realized that I'm on the heavy side. I guess I have always known that I'm not skinny, but to be constantly conscious and distressed about my weight, I do not know when it started. The point is, I am still conscious of my weight. VERY conscious. Not in the, oh my god, I won't touch that chilli chicken kinda way, but in a more, damn, why did I binge on that chilli chicken way. An after the fact remorse. Something that's far too prevalent in my eating ways. Only those poor souls that have tried losing weight (not your already skinny girl, but wants to lose 5 lbs weirdo!) will ever truly know the suffering behind "trying" to lose it. Isn't that the case? Always "trying" to lose it. I can honestly say I have been "trying" for the past 6 odd years! Of course, trying is such a loosely interpreted word!
The smallest of compliments, event at the most fleeting moment, such as 'Shalini you look like you lost weight eh!' can send you into a whirlwind of pure euphoria. Thank God for nice people.
As easy as it may be to give compliments, it's not always so to receive them. That's why when you genuinely pay a compliment to a friend, she'll comeback with a 'nahhh. are you kidding me? i just ate 10lbs of kottu rotti at home'. At this point, you can make a decision; continue to imprudently gratify your friend's ego, until she gives in and finally admits to maybe losing 3lbs. Or, you can simply change the subject. The truth is, unless they themself can look in the mirror and notice a considerable change, they will always be at unease with compliments. But to be sure...., this does not apply to those that have obviously lost so much weight, and are dressing much slimmer, yet seemingly dismisses it. They call those people "crazies" in my Oor (village). HA!
Anyways, where was I? right..., so it's sooooooooooooo hard to lose weight. For me, the one that loves food. The one that loves home made rice with chicken curry, kirai, boiled mutai, kilanku porial, venkaiya samapl, and shrimp poriyal. The one that salivates at the mere thought of fries supreme!!! Oh come to me baby! Yes, so you can appreciate my struggle now can you? It's one of the hardest thing I have to do, to control the intake of "fantabulously" delicious food as my mom's vella puttu with attu irachi!!!!!
The struggle continues.............., w/ green tea.
I don't remember the exact day, month or even year I realized that I'm on the heavy side. I guess I have always known that I'm not skinny, but to be constantly conscious and distressed about my weight, I do not know when it started. The point is, I am still conscious of my weight. VERY conscious. Not in the, oh my god, I won't touch that chilli chicken kinda way, but in a more, damn, why did I binge on that chilli chicken way. An after the fact remorse. Something that's far too prevalent in my eating ways. Only those poor souls that have tried losing weight (not your already skinny girl, but wants to lose 5 lbs weirdo!) will ever truly know the suffering behind "trying" to lose it. Isn't that the case? Always "trying" to lose it. I can honestly say I have been "trying" for the past 6 odd years! Of course, trying is such a loosely interpreted word!
The smallest of compliments, event at the most fleeting moment, such as 'Shalini you look like you lost weight eh!' can send you into a whirlwind of pure euphoria. Thank God for nice people.
As easy as it may be to give compliments, it's not always so to receive them. That's why when you genuinely pay a compliment to a friend, she'll comeback with a 'nahhh. are you kidding me? i just ate 10lbs of kottu rotti at home'. At this point, you can make a decision; continue to imprudently gratify your friend's ego, until she gives in and finally admits to maybe losing 3lbs. Or, you can simply change the subject. The truth is, unless they themself can look in the mirror and notice a considerable change, they will always be at unease with compliments. But to be sure...., this does not apply to those that have obviously lost so much weight, and are dressing much slimmer, yet seemingly dismisses it. They call those people "crazies" in my Oor (village). HA!
Anyways, where was I? right..., so it's sooooooooooooo hard to lose weight. For me, the one that loves food. The one that loves home made rice with chicken curry, kirai, boiled mutai, kilanku porial, venkaiya samapl, and shrimp poriyal. The one that salivates at the mere thought of fries supreme!!! Oh come to me baby! Yes, so you can appreciate my struggle now can you? It's one of the hardest thing I have to do, to control the intake of "fantabulously" delicious food as my mom's vella puttu with attu irachi!!!!!
The struggle continues.............., w/ green tea.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
What Ticked Me Off..., A Lot Has Apparently!
My friends will generally describe me as a moody person. For some part they are correct. For instance, when I am hungry I can be quite irritated by mundane nuisances. But usually their perception of me has to do a lot more with their own inability to comprehend and appreciate dissent. I am very opinionated. Not in a worldly-affair sorta way, but in a personal my-life kinda way. If I don't like something I will say it. If I want to have things certain ways, *ahem - my way, I will ask for it. Unless I am exceedingly excited and that too about something in the near future, I usually wont' be caught grinning giddily. (*But you already knew that about me didn't you!) AND ESPECIALLY if you don't want my opinon, then don't ask for it. Simple as that right? WRONG! I am always misunderstood, and easily perceived to be ill-tempered or just plain inconsiderate I suppose. Frankly, I don't really care about their misinterpretations of my intent. When little things bother me, I speak my mind. I do this more so for my sanity than anything else. The reason I don't' feel bad about expressing my thoughts, however unfavourably they might be taken, has to do with my believe that underneath it all, when it really comes down to my core, I know I am a nice person and will not intentionally hurt anyone. Well......., not anymore at least (*when I was a kid, it was an entirely different story...muhahhaha).
I thought it would be an interesting a read to entertain my readers with such things that annoy the crap out of Shalini Murugiah. These are my personal and particular pet peeves I suppose.
1. Cheap people! one time, sure. even a next, i will let it pass. but if it's something that's obviously become a pattern, i will get pretttttty damn irritated.
2. People that make me wait! I don't mind waiting for 5 minutes, maybe even 10, anything longer however suggests to me that my time is not valued. Of course there are exceptions. But if a time has already been acknowledged, I expect full effort from both parties to keep that time.
3. Those that cannot shut up long enough to ask you how your day was! Not everyone can talk non-stop, some of us need to breath. Let the other person say what's on their mind too. They might be wanting to say something too you know....
4. People that brag! It's one thing to share good news, and a whole 180` to boast. Yes, you are rich....get over it! Yes...you are 100 lbs...., now eat something! hahhaha....! There is always a tasteful way of establishing your accomplishments...., merely speaking about it, and exaggerating finer points is not going to help you.
5. Serious people! Not everything that gets planned goes well, and not everything that is spontaneous goes awry. Mistakes happen. People are only human. Some are more prone to misfortunes than others......GET OVER IT!
6. People who belittle others! I may not be the smartest, the prettiest, or the one with the greatest job. But that doesn't mean I have accomplished little in life. Everyone has their own story of how they got to be where they are today. Not every ones milk koppee was given in a silver tray. The day you start judging people on their looks and money, the day you have become a petty human yourself.
7. Unsmiling people! If you see someone you knew once, please do smile. Friendly people are my favourite people in the world. They just have something so Godly about themselves.
8. Inconsiderate fools! It's good to have eaten. But if you had eaten at the expense of other's, are you truly satisfied? Of course not. There is a saying in Tamil..."ELL ENDALUM 7ella Pirikkannum". Remember to hold doors for others, remember to shut doors properly. Remember to clean up after yourself after using someone's washroom, kitchen. Just simply remember to be courteous and have common sense.
9. If you borrow something, please return it! If I have something of yours, please ask me, I know sometimes it's just memory that fails us. So when someone asks for something back, don't get offended. I won't.
10. Dont' take everything so personally! Sometimes, although this might come as a shock for some..................., the world does not revolve around you. Trust me on this. If I tell you something, take it as it is, do not make it personal pleassssssssssssssse!
I thought it would be an interesting a read to entertain my readers with such things that annoy the crap out of Shalini Murugiah. These are my personal and particular pet peeves I suppose.
1. Cheap people! one time, sure. even a next, i will let it pass. but if it's something that's obviously become a pattern, i will get pretttttty damn irritated.
2. People that make me wait! I don't mind waiting for 5 minutes, maybe even 10, anything longer however suggests to me that my time is not valued. Of course there are exceptions. But if a time has already been acknowledged, I expect full effort from both parties to keep that time.
3. Those that cannot shut up long enough to ask you how your day was! Not everyone can talk non-stop, some of us need to breath. Let the other person say what's on their mind too. They might be wanting to say something too you know....
4. People that brag! It's one thing to share good news, and a whole 180` to boast. Yes, you are rich....get over it! Yes...you are 100 lbs...., now eat something! hahhaha....! There is always a tasteful way of establishing your accomplishments...., merely speaking about it, and exaggerating finer points is not going to help you.
5. Serious people! Not everything that gets planned goes well, and not everything that is spontaneous goes awry. Mistakes happen. People are only human. Some are more prone to misfortunes than others......GET OVER IT!
6. People who belittle others! I may not be the smartest, the prettiest, or the one with the greatest job. But that doesn't mean I have accomplished little in life. Everyone has their own story of how they got to be where they are today. Not every ones milk koppee was given in a silver tray. The day you start judging people on their looks and money, the day you have become a petty human yourself.
7. Unsmiling people! If you see someone you knew once, please do smile. Friendly people are my favourite people in the world. They just have something so Godly about themselves.
8. Inconsiderate fools! It's good to have eaten. But if you had eaten at the expense of other's, are you truly satisfied? Of course not. There is a saying in Tamil..."ELL ENDALUM 7ella Pirikkannum". Remember to hold doors for others, remember to shut doors properly. Remember to clean up after yourself after using someone's washroom, kitchen. Just simply remember to be courteous and have common sense.
9. If you borrow something, please return it! If I have something of yours, please ask me, I know sometimes it's just memory that fails us. So when someone asks for something back, don't get offended. I won't.
10. Dont' take everything so personally! Sometimes, although this might come as a shock for some..................., the world does not revolve around you. Trust me on this. If I tell you something, take it as it is, do not make it personal pleassssssssssssssse!
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Oru Nalla Pattu.....
This is one of the few amazing things about YouTube. I was listening to some tamil songs when I came across this song, "Manil Vantha Nilave" oh so ramdomly. You will never know just how much I love this song, yet the last time I heard this song was a decade ago. This song is also a background song on my 6th birthday video, and I simply love it! Whenever I listen to this song, it makes me soooo happy-jolly, and I smile openly with a big deep breath. Though my parents will probably never have the words to express their love to us, I know if they can, it will be everything this song is about, and I hope to pass this song to their grandchildren as lullabies someday.....,.
A trip to Elanthulir (a Tamil video store at Warden & Finch) is a most definite plan now. I hope to find this movie there. It will be nice to watch this movie again with Nadiya, Rahuman and Baby Shalini. While I'm on this topic, just want to cover something pretty exciting. So for the last few weeks, I have been buying older Tamil movies from the 80s and 90s from Elanthulir. These are movies that I remember enjoying, but vaguly remember now since I haven't watched them in quite some time. Recently I rented the movies Idhayam (Murali and Heera), Karna (Arjun and Ranjitha) and Nattamai (Sarathkumar,Kusboo and Meena). These were all movies that I liked at one point, and wanted to watch again now. Anyways, Elanthulir has this folder with over 2000 + Tamil movies in their list, complete with actors names written beside each movie. This is a very rare system in Canada, hence my elaboration and excitement. For me, watching these older movies is like a happy drug.
A trip to Elanthulir (a Tamil video store at Warden & Finch) is a most definite plan now. I hope to find this movie there. It will be nice to watch this movie again with Nadiya, Rahuman and Baby Shalini. While I'm on this topic, just want to cover something pretty exciting. So for the last few weeks, I have been buying older Tamil movies from the 80s and 90s from Elanthulir. These are movies that I remember enjoying, but vaguly remember now since I haven't watched them in quite some time. Recently I rented the movies Idhayam (Murali and Heera), Karna (Arjun and Ranjitha) and Nattamai (Sarathkumar,Kusboo and Meena). These were all movies that I liked at one point, and wanted to watch again now. Anyways, Elanthulir has this folder with over 2000 + Tamil movies in their list, complete with actors names written beside each movie. This is a very rare system in Canada, hence my elaboration and excitement. For me, watching these older movies is like a happy drug.
Song Title : Mannil Vantha Nilave
Movie Title : Nilave Malare
Singers : P Susheela
Music : M S Viswanathan M S
Thursday, June 18, 2009
The Fury of A Woman
The fury of a women. Well, not just any woman,but the fury of my closest friend. It's a funny incident actually. Perhaps, something that will stay with me for a long time to come, and even evoke laughter at the thought of such a rumble. I guess it's moments like these that marks one's life with excitement. So here is what happened that sunny Sunday afternoon at the park.
I was at the L'Amoreaux Park with 2 of my good friends enjoying the snail-like walk we had adopted under the scorching sun. It was just past 2pm, and though we were worried about our impending, and unwanted tan, the gust of cool wind blowing past us, was just too seductive. We soaked under the sun for the next 2 hours lying on our backs on top of the lush green grass. It was time to head home, with much resentment, we dragged ourselves to the parking lot towards our cars. That's when we heard the ice-cream truck. DING DONG. DING DONG. DING DONG. I can't remember the last time I ran towards an ice-cream truck to buy an ice-cream, I was never that kid. And I wasn't any different today either.
"I think I am going to get myself an ice-cream" says my friend, hmmm....I'm going to name her, Pooja* since I haven't run this blog post by my friends, and not sure if they'd appreciate me using their real names here. Anyways, just for character sake, Pooja is my good friend from University, and I relate and respect her very much like an older sister. My other friend, Anjali* (who is my dear old friend from high school, and my closest friend till today), also decides to treat herself to an ice-cream. After all, the heavy sweating has definitely earned all of us a treat. We walk over to the ice-cream truck, and are the first ones there, behind us were 3 Chinese kids. Pooja asks for a vanilla flavoured cone ice-cream. The ice-cream lady, an old aged, dark skinned woman, with badly decayed teeth poured the ice-cream onto a cone, and handed it over to my friend.
Here's where the story gets interesting. We quickly notice that the ice-cream is not poured rightly onto the cone at all. In fact, it was so lopsided, my friend had to give it a quick lick to position it rightly on the cone. I point this out to Pooja. She acknowledges it, was not too thrilled about it, but we didn't think much of it. I mean yes we were disappointed that the ice-cream was not perfectly placed, but nothing crept passed that surface acknowledgement. Sridevi orders her cone now. She asks for vanilla dipped in chocolate. When the lady passes the ice-cream to Anjali, I notice once again the ice-cream is carelessly, and foolishly misplaced! I bring this to Anjali's attention. She was annoyed, but didn't' think it was too important. Wasn't it just going into her tummy as liquid mesh anyhow? Yet, selectively righteous me, wants to ask for another ice-cream, a pretty looking one, but more over, one that wont topple anytime soon.
*On a side note, I refer to myself as selectively righteous, because it is only in certain situations I would have the courage, or compulsion to question certain things. I know! I am flawed in many ways my friends.
In continuing my story, I see that my friend didn't really prefer, or waste her time in asking for another ice-cream. So I turn to the lady, who by the way has not even smiled once since arriving, and ask her for another ice-cream that which is properly poured onto the cone. She is evidently irritated by my request, and say NO! I put forth my request again, she glares down at me from her high open window and asks, "whaaatt dooo you mean?", in her broken English-Guyanese accent. I ask her to give my friend another ice-cream, tell her it's sloppy, and is dripping all over the place. She comes back with an even more chafed tone, and says NO. It must have been at that moment that my friend Anjali interrupted, and told the woman to give her another ice-cream or she is not paying. I am secretly excited that my friend has not paid yet, and realize this will give us the edge at the least. But, as my tone with the woman was merely a friendly, scared puppy like version. I stare back at my friend who is standing tall, with eyes protruding out with anger. Anjali tells her, "you don't talk to my friend like that and expect me to pay you. Give me a new one, or I am not going to pay you". The crusty old lady gets nasty now, and starts throwing back threats. "You better paiii me, or I weeeell call the poleeeeece". My friend doesn't' budge, stares right back and tells her to call. Of course the woman doesn't. At this point my friend is very irate, and wants to simply leave. She doesn't want to take the ice-cream without paying and tries to put it away. The lady grabs her wrists and pushes it back. Ice-cream is spilled all over my friend's shoes, and her favourite tote bag. She is overtly angry now. The woman sneers at her. My friend sneers back.
All the while, as I watch this scene unfold in front of my eyes, I can't help when my mind drifts off to the last movie I watched in theatres. It was a scary movie called, Drag me to Hell. I feel a chill run through my back as I realize the similarities. What if, I think to myself. This scene is eerily too similar to what happened in the movie. The old, Gypsy lady in the movie, puts a curse on this seemingly innocent young woman who denies her a loan to put off her imminent eviction. Whooaaa I say. This lady reminds me of that lady, a d-evil in hiding perhaps. So I urge my friend to let's go. She was in no mood to tolerate this any longer too, so she forcibly puts away the ice-cream into the van, and walks away. I was proud of my friend who stood up for herself and her right to a decent ice-cream. I mean, we could have simply ignored it, and let it go, but the lady's attitude was just too good to pass. She told me later that her fury was unleashed mainly by the lady's unwarranted anger towards me, when I had initially requested fora new ice-cream politely.
I was at the L'Amoreaux Park with 2 of my good friends enjoying the snail-like walk we had adopted under the scorching sun. It was just past 2pm, and though we were worried about our impending, and unwanted tan, the gust of cool wind blowing past us, was just too seductive. We soaked under the sun for the next 2 hours lying on our backs on top of the lush green grass. It was time to head home, with much resentment, we dragged ourselves to the parking lot towards our cars. That's when we heard the ice-cream truck. DING DONG. DING DONG. DING DONG. I can't remember the last time I ran towards an ice-cream truck to buy an ice-cream, I was never that kid. And I wasn't any different today either.
"I think I am going to get myself an ice-cream" says my friend, hmmm....I'm going to name her, Pooja* since I haven't run this blog post by my friends, and not sure if they'd appreciate me using their real names here. Anyways, just for character sake, Pooja is my good friend from University, and I relate and respect her very much like an older sister. My other friend, Anjali* (who is my dear old friend from high school, and my closest friend till today), also decides to treat herself to an ice-cream. After all, the heavy sweating has definitely earned all of us a treat. We walk over to the ice-cream truck, and are the first ones there, behind us were 3 Chinese kids. Pooja asks for a vanilla flavoured cone ice-cream. The ice-cream lady, an old aged, dark skinned woman, with badly decayed teeth poured the ice-cream onto a cone, and handed it over to my friend.
Here's where the story gets interesting. We quickly notice that the ice-cream is not poured rightly onto the cone at all. In fact, it was so lopsided, my friend had to give it a quick lick to position it rightly on the cone. I point this out to Pooja. She acknowledges it, was not too thrilled about it, but we didn't think much of it. I mean yes we were disappointed that the ice-cream was not perfectly placed, but nothing crept passed that surface acknowledgement. Sridevi orders her cone now. She asks for vanilla dipped in chocolate. When the lady passes the ice-cream to Anjali, I notice once again the ice-cream is carelessly, and foolishly misplaced! I bring this to Anjali's attention. She was annoyed, but didn't' think it was too important. Wasn't it just going into her tummy as liquid mesh anyhow? Yet, selectively righteous me, wants to ask for another ice-cream, a pretty looking one, but more over, one that wont topple anytime soon.
*On a side note, I refer to myself as selectively righteous, because it is only in certain situations I would have the courage, or compulsion to question certain things. I know! I am flawed in many ways my friends.
In continuing my story, I see that my friend didn't really prefer, or waste her time in asking for another ice-cream. So I turn to the lady, who by the way has not even smiled once since arriving, and ask her for another ice-cream that which is properly poured onto the cone. She is evidently irritated by my request, and say NO! I put forth my request again, she glares down at me from her high open window and asks, "whaaatt dooo you mean?", in her broken English-Guyanese accent. I ask her to give my friend another ice-cream, tell her it's sloppy, and is dripping all over the place. She comes back with an even more chafed tone, and says NO. It must have been at that moment that my friend Anjali interrupted, and told the woman to give her another ice-cream or she is not paying. I am secretly excited that my friend has not paid yet, and realize this will give us the edge at the least. But, as my tone with the woman was merely a friendly, scared puppy like version. I stare back at my friend who is standing tall, with eyes protruding out with anger. Anjali tells her, "you don't talk to my friend like that and expect me to pay you. Give me a new one, or I am not going to pay you". The crusty old lady gets nasty now, and starts throwing back threats. "You better paiii me, or I weeeell call the poleeeeece". My friend doesn't' budge, stares right back and tells her to call. Of course the woman doesn't. At this point my friend is very irate, and wants to simply leave. She doesn't want to take the ice-cream without paying and tries to put it away. The lady grabs her wrists and pushes it back. Ice-cream is spilled all over my friend's shoes, and her favourite tote bag. She is overtly angry now. The woman sneers at her. My friend sneers back.
All the while, as I watch this scene unfold in front of my eyes, I can't help when my mind drifts off to the last movie I watched in theatres. It was a scary movie called, Drag me to Hell. I feel a chill run through my back as I realize the similarities. What if, I think to myself. This scene is eerily too similar to what happened in the movie. The old, Gypsy lady in the movie, puts a curse on this seemingly innocent young woman who denies her a loan to put off her imminent eviction. Whooaaa I say. This lady reminds me of that lady, a d-evil in hiding perhaps. So I urge my friend to let's go. She was in no mood to tolerate this any longer too, so she forcibly puts away the ice-cream into the van, and walks away. I was proud of my friend who stood up for herself and her right to a decent ice-cream. I mean, we could have simply ignored it, and let it go, but the lady's attitude was just too good to pass. She told me later that her fury was unleashed mainly by the lady's unwarranted anger towards me, when I had initially requested fora new ice-cream politely.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Today is my Mother's Birthday!
Why I love my mother. Though she may never read this blog, or even come to know that I have a blog, I am compelled to write about this wonderful woman that I call Amma.
Amma, what beautiful images and emotions the word resonates as you say it out loud. Especially when I say Amma. My mom is a little women, with little dreams for herself, and great ones for her three children (me included). She was born and raised in Saravanai, Jaffna, Srilanka. She wasn't the best of students, her education was not hers nor her family's first priority. While her elder brothers (four of them) went onto universities, and business ventures, she was asked to quit school at tenth grade and heeded to the demands of womanhood. Cooking and cleaning. Not that she complained of course (I wouldn't have either).
Her marriage to my dad was arranged in 1980. There are many juicy, gossip worthy incidents during this period to disclose, but not here. Of course, maybe if you become a member of my family or extended family, through marriage or birth, I will one day indulge you. Now she has been married for close to 30 years. She is celebrating her 56th birthday this year. It's hard to believe she is fifty-six. For children, their parents will always be young, strong, and powerful, capable of alleviating all bad, including a 'not so clean bedroom'. For me, my mom will always be my better self. My mom is a small woman, at only 4'10. But to compensate for that perhaps, her energy is infinite. Especially if its in any way needed by my brother's presence. In the company of my mother, we are at our laziest. But in the company of my mother, we are also at our greatest debt. We can only hope to make this great woman as happy as she has made us in being our Amma.
*side note: just to be sure, a lot of how my mother has grown into a mother we love abundantly has a lot to do with the unwavering love and respect she has received from my Appa over the many years ....
Amma, what beautiful images and emotions the word resonates as you say it out loud. Especially when I say Amma. My mom is a little women, with little dreams for herself, and great ones for her three children (me included). She was born and raised in Saravanai, Jaffna, Srilanka. She wasn't the best of students, her education was not hers nor her family's first priority. While her elder brothers (four of them) went onto universities, and business ventures, she was asked to quit school at tenth grade and heeded to the demands of womanhood. Cooking and cleaning. Not that she complained of course (I wouldn't have either).
Her marriage to my dad was arranged in 1980. There are many juicy, gossip worthy incidents during this period to disclose, but not here. Of course, maybe if you become a member of my family or extended family, through marriage or birth, I will one day indulge you. Now she has been married for close to 30 years. She is celebrating her 56th birthday this year. It's hard to believe she is fifty-six. For children, their parents will always be young, strong, and powerful, capable of alleviating all bad, including a 'not so clean bedroom'. For me, my mom will always be my better self. My mom is a small woman, at only 4'10. But to compensate for that perhaps, her energy is infinite. Especially if its in any way needed by my brother's presence. In the company of my mother, we are at our laziest. But in the company of my mother, we are also at our greatest debt. We can only hope to make this great woman as happy as she has made us in being our Amma.
*side note: just to be sure, a lot of how my mother has grown into a mother we love abundantly has a lot to do with the unwavering love and respect she has received from my Appa over the many years ....
Thursday, May 28, 2009
This Pathetic World
I have come to realize, at this moment, with every happenings surrounding our convoluted being, though it is a beautiful world in close subjectivity, it still remains a pathetic one at large. The UN and the international community have failed Tamil people at their most desperate time. This will dampen any achievements thus far....
I am questioning the very existence of UN at this point. What is humanitarianism, if you cannot defend it's values? Why do laws exist, if you cannot defend it's rationale? This is a joke. The UN is a joke. The Srilankan Government is a joke. Any person involved in this pathetic arena called politics is a joke. What is real, and what is true, is that we all live in a pathetic world!
I am questioning the very existence of UN at this point. What is humanitarianism, if you cannot defend it's values? Why do laws exist, if you cannot defend it's rationale? This is a joke. The UN is a joke. The Srilankan Government is a joke. Any person involved in this pathetic arena called politics is a joke. What is real, and what is true, is that we all live in a pathetic world!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
A Sad Day for Tamils...
It is indeed a very sad day for Tamils everywhere. With influx of mixed reports coming in from around the world, the truth is yet to be confirmed. And whatever the 'truth' may be, it is still a very sad day for Tamils nonetheless. The sole protectors of Tamils interest have been silenced. The question still remains what will become of the Tamils in Srilanka. Though the final days of this war were imminent, little attention was given to the days post-LTTE, as the Srilankan Government's exclusive goal was to rid of LTTE, and it's leaders, namely Prabaharan, with little regard to civilian lives. These next few days, and weeks, will be crucial in relieving the gross ethnic divide the war has spurred among the Tamils and Sinhalese, both in Srilanka, and outside. All eyes will be on Mahinda Rajapaska, and the political solutions, if any, he will put forth. Then only, will we know whether the rise of the LTTE is destined....
I am speechless for the most part. Although I questioned the tactics of the protesters in raising the LTTE flags, I will never question the sacrifice, and bravery of the LTTE cadres. They were simply young Tamils, just like me and you, born to Tamil parents. Their parents had the same aspirations and hopes for them, as ours. Yet, due to unfortunate circumstance, they had to stay behind, while the rest fled. They fought for the rights of Tamils, and brought the plight of Tamils to the world stage and that can never be dismissed. And never forgotten. As they will forever be heroes and martyrs in many hearts.
I am speechless for the most part. Although I questioned the tactics of the protesters in raising the LTTE flags, I will never question the sacrifice, and bravery of the LTTE cadres. They were simply young Tamils, just like me and you, born to Tamil parents. Their parents had the same aspirations and hopes for them, as ours. Yet, due to unfortunate circumstance, they had to stay behind, while the rest fled. They fought for the rights of Tamils, and brought the plight of Tamils to the world stage and that can never be dismissed. And never forgotten. As they will forever be heroes and martyrs in many hearts.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Who is D.B.S Jeyaraj?
Hi everyone….I came across this article, Tigers, Tamil Diaspora and the Tamil Civilians Plights (click here) by D.B.S Jeyaraj, while I was reading an article from the Globe and Mail, (click here). Frankly, I don’t know what to think. But all I know is it's definitely something we must read too. As always, there is two sides to a story. I don’t know this D.B.S Jeyaraj guy. I didn't hear of him till today. I don’t know whether he is a "good" guy or a "bad" guy, or even if he has any credentials or his claims any legitimacy. Yet, I did read through the entire article, and I hope you will do the same. Maybe some things will be too difficult to appreciate, especially for some of you (*perhaps). Anyways…if anyone can shed some light as to who this man is, or even if I should be reading any of his stuff, please speak up. If this is news to you, maybe it sparked the same questions as it did to me….better yet…I would love to hear your opinion on his article….will you be brave enough to take a stand? Or are you just a confused bugger like me….?
*Just so you know, the above was originaly written by me yesterday night. I have new insight today. I researched some more, and I think I am liking this Jeyaraj, who happens to be a Tamil journalist based in Toronto. I will definitely write more about my thoughts on him in my coming posts....
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Why Don't You Read this, .....?!
Sri Lanka Puts Obama to the Test — and He's Failing
By Romesh Ratnesar - (click here for artcile)
My thoughts now.......For those that find themselves asking, what the international community can really do for the Tamils, here in this article are some answers. It's not about picking sides. Well, atleast it doesnt' have to be. Maybe Canada needs to understand this. But at the same time, maybe the Canadian government is confused. Maybe Canada thinks, if they were to talk for the Tamils they will be looked upon as sympathizers of Tamill Tigers, who are clearly declared terrorists in Canada. Can you blame them? Though the protests happening in Toronto, and around the world, have the best of intentions, the flying of the LTTE flags diminishes any strong support it might get..….it doesn't allow the outside world to distinguish between the Tamil people and the LTTE. Of course, some would claim, either proudly or accusingly, there is no difference, and it's one and the same. Yet I can't but wonder, if the flags were put aside, if we'd garner more support for a very legitimate cause….
Anyways...just some thoughts.....
By Romesh Ratnesar - (click here for artcile)
My thoughts now.......For those that find themselves asking, what the international community can really do for the Tamils, here in this article are some answers. It's not about picking sides. Well, atleast it doesnt' have to be. Maybe Canada needs to understand this. But at the same time, maybe the Canadian government is confused. Maybe Canada thinks, if they were to talk for the Tamils they will be looked upon as sympathizers of Tamill Tigers, who are clearly declared terrorists in Canada. Can you blame them? Though the protests happening in Toronto, and around the world, have the best of intentions, the flying of the LTTE flags diminishes any strong support it might get..….it doesn't allow the outside world to distinguish between the Tamil people and the LTTE. Of course, some would claim, either proudly or accusingly, there is no difference, and it's one and the same. Yet I can't but wonder, if the flags were put aside, if we'd garner more support for a very legitimate cause….
Anyways...just some thoughts.....
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Why I am TWIGGED OUT!
Okay. I lied. I am in no way of being "twigged out" as they say in Twitterland. Yes, maybe you already heard. Maybe you received an invitation from me via twitter to join twitter. (Which by the way YOU obviously ignored/deleted or worse, is still unread!!!) News is, I am officially on the follow. Well, to be exact if I must. I am following three, two are following me. But keep in mind, this is only the beginning. If Ashton Kutcher can beat out CNN on receiving a following of 1 million tweeters and counting, I am sure I can ...hmm..let's say...get another 20 more to follow me? HA - I seriously doubt it. But nonetheless, baby steps are the beginnings. Oh ya, just so you know. Twigged out simply means, again in Twitterland, --- to be so hyped up on twittering that you cannot sleep. I am hardly there....trust me! Ask my followers if you must.
So what do I think of twitter? And what made me join it you ask? Well, for one. If you know me, I don't follow the mass. If everyone likes Ajith, I choose to like Vijay. If everyone likes Facebook, I choose to do blogs. It's just part of being me, shalini murugiah. I like people before they become famous, like Surya...I liked him waaaaaay before he started gelling his hair or wearing his shirt out. LOL....I liked him from his days in Nerruku Naer. Of course this doesn't mean, no one else liked him either. Except that the cult was small. I liked being part of the small group. It meant something. Of course, after Nandha and Pithagmagan that cult grew, especially after Kakka Kakka I would say. That's when all the teens, and tweens jumped in the wagon too. And I wasn't special anymore, and now he is not special to me. Anyways...the point is twitter sounded great because to me it was still unknown and untouched....
I think the concept behind twitter is just great. Such a simple idea. It's one of those things, that once you see how well it works, you are like, 'why didn't I think of it!'. Once you sign up on twitter.com, you can start posting instant messages of what you doing/thinking/eating/liking whenever, and wherever you want. This way your friends and families get to follow you, and see what you are up to too, and vice verse. Like I mentioned earlier, I am still new at this. I am still learning to maneuver around the site myself. If you get the chance, check it out. It might just take over facebook in the near future......so be ready....... (*I for one, can't wait for that day).
So what do I think of twitter? And what made me join it you ask? Well, for one. If you know me, I don't follow the mass. If everyone likes Ajith, I choose to like Vijay. If everyone likes Facebook, I choose to do blogs. It's just part of being me, shalini murugiah. I like people before they become famous, like Surya...I liked him waaaaaay before he started gelling his hair or wearing his shirt out. LOL....I liked him from his days in Nerruku Naer. Of course this doesn't mean, no one else liked him either. Except that the cult was small. I liked being part of the small group. It meant something. Of course, after Nandha and Pithagmagan that cult grew, especially after Kakka Kakka I would say. That's when all the teens, and tweens jumped in the wagon too. And I wasn't special anymore, and now he is not special to me. Anyways...the point is twitter sounded great because to me it was still unknown and untouched....
I think the concept behind twitter is just great. Such a simple idea. It's one of those things, that once you see how well it works, you are like, 'why didn't I think of it!'. Once you sign up on twitter.com, you can start posting instant messages of what you doing/thinking/eating/liking whenever, and wherever you want. This way your friends and families get to follow you, and see what you are up to too, and vice verse. Like I mentioned earlier, I am still new at this. I am still learning to maneuver around the site myself. If you get the chance, check it out. It might just take over facebook in the near future......so be ready....... (*I for one, can't wait for that day).
Monday, May 11, 2009
The March of the Tigers
So here are some pictures I have managed to gather. Please click on the forward icon to skim through the pictures. My suggestion to you is NOT to double click on the image, as it will re-route you to another page.
Anyhow, going back to what I was writting. To be truthful. Although I watched and listened to all the media coverage on this event, I still don't have an opinion on it. I really don't. Was this the right way about bringing attention? I DON't KNOW. Was it wrong to do so, to spill over onto a major highway of the city? Many seem to think so, but I still don't know. But above all this, there is only ONE thing that boggles my mind. Maybe someone can clarify. What is the purpose of flying the LTTE flags at these protests anyway? Contrary to what many may argue, the LTTE flag and the Tamil Eelam flag is not one and the same. The tamil people adopted the LTTE flag if anything, because it was only them they felt a kinship to, whether forced or otherwise. Anyways, my question is, must we really fly this flag? reallY? I don't believe it serves any purpose.
I might be wrong, but I doubt it......
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Why the best things in life never last forever...
I had a hard time finalizing the title for this blog. I was torn between two titles. Between, 'why the best things in life never last forever', and 'why the best things in my life never last forever'.
As much truth the second title holds, so does the first. Both speak of an universal truth does it not? That nothing lasts forever. Whether it's the heart felt, loud and breezy laugh, or the pouring of salty tears over hurt feelings, everything has an end. This simple truth, if not always easily accessed, does often creep up into the thoughts of those suddenly reminiscing the beauty of life. Or if you are like me, and those near and dear to me, the misgivings of life. So that's why I went with the title you see because just like me, for everyone too, the best things in life never last forever....
It's sad really. This apprehension of over looming sadness started when I finished reading 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' by Khaled Hosseini. The Afghan-American author of the highly acclaimed novel, 'Kite Runner'. I read Kite Runner first. It was devastating. It really was. I cried at the many facets of cruelty. If Kite Runner was devastating, A Thousand Splendid Suns killed me. The book, from beginning to end, from every page I read, the words paint canvases of absolute suffering. The story might have been fictious, but the suffering all too real. You realize reading this book, that for some, happiness happens only in passing. Just to be sure, this is not about reviewing this beautifully written book. But rather, it made me write, that life, however it might have treated you, is marked by the passing of fortunes, and many misfortunes.
As much truth the second title holds, so does the first. Both speak of an universal truth does it not? That nothing lasts forever. Whether it's the heart felt, loud and breezy laugh, or the pouring of salty tears over hurt feelings, everything has an end. This simple truth, if not always easily accessed, does often creep up into the thoughts of those suddenly reminiscing the beauty of life. Or if you are like me, and those near and dear to me, the misgivings of life. So that's why I went with the title you see because just like me, for everyone too, the best things in life never last forever....
It's sad really. This apprehension of over looming sadness started when I finished reading 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' by Khaled Hosseini. The Afghan-American author of the highly acclaimed novel, 'Kite Runner'. I read Kite Runner first. It was devastating. It really was. I cried at the many facets of cruelty. If Kite Runner was devastating, A Thousand Splendid Suns killed me. The book, from beginning to end, from every page I read, the words paint canvases of absolute suffering. The story might have been fictious, but the suffering all too real. You realize reading this book, that for some, happiness happens only in passing. Just to be sure, this is not about reviewing this beautifully written book. But rather, it made me write, that life, however it might have treated you, is marked by the passing of fortunes, and many misfortunes.
"She said, 'I'm so afraid. Because I'm so profoundly happy. Happiness like this is frightening. They only let you be this happy if they're preparing to take something from you."' - Khaled Hosseini
(To be continued....,)
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Why Every Girl Needs a Man...
So, something unfortunate happened to me Sunday night. As I was driving to work, my rear side tire blew out and I was left faced with my first quasi car accident. Quasi, because it can't be technically termed a car accident, as there were no other cars involved or even any type of bumping or thumping in fact, nonetheless, the emotions were the same. By God's grace, I have never been in a car accident (thu thu thu), BUT had I been in one, I'm sure my reaction would have been the same as that night sans all the paper work of course. It happened when I was driving southbound on DVP, just past Bayview/Bloor. I was turning a bend and suddenly I realized I didn't have control of the steering wheel, so I quickly gripped the steering wheel firmly with both my hands. AND Yup, it was certain at that point. I had no control. I switch on the emergency lights, and try my best to "drive" my car to the right shoulder and come to a stop.
I have watched many news telecast about highway accidents to know my protocol. I get out of my car through the passenger side door, climb over the guardrail and walk away from my car. It's cold and frighteningly dark and I'm all standing all alone with cars zooming by at dangerous speeds. I call the first person that comes to my mind. My father. My saviour. He picks up and I tell him what happened. He is in Hamilton, unable to come to my aid. He senses my panic and tells me not to worry. He tells me we have no choice but to call the police and ask them to send a tow truck. So I did. I dial 911. This crusty lady answers, and I tell her I have a flat tire. Unsurprisingly, she was very rude. Thinking back, I wish I had asked her why she was so rude when I was desperate for her help. BUT, that's beside the point now. She tells me that the tow truck is on it's way.
Then my brother calls me. He is with my dad in Hamilton. He asks me if I'm okay, and tells me not to be scared. I guess he sensed my panic too, now enhanced by my quivering voice and silent sobs . It wouldn't have been too hard. Anyone who knows me, knows I can't handle a crisis well. He tells me not to worry. It all happened so fast after that, and it's all a blur now, but the tow truck guy came. He said his name was Shawn. I had my brother on the line at that time, so he tells me to give the phone to Shawn and he will speak to him. They exchange some words, I hear $150. And I say to myself..."Holly crap". One Hundred and Fifty dollars!!! Why God, why? I barely have enough money to pay my OSAP this month. But like every emergency situation, money wasn't/couldn't be the issue. I just wanted my car back. I wanted to be inside it. I wanted to be safe again.
Shawn hangs up, gives me the phone and tells me to hop into his truck while he hauls my car to his truck. Once inside he tells me something that I would probably remember for a long time. "You have a cool brother". hmmm....sure, ...yes, sometimes I suppose my brother can be passed off as being "cool" ...I mean..he does play basketball and happens to be good at it. So I guess. BUT how did Shawn know this? Shawn continues..., he tells me how my brother said, "I don't care about the money, just get her somewhere safe". Of course, it wasn't his money that was at stake, so he can say whatever he wants. But I know my brother, and I know he would have done the same had it been his money. It's just who he is. It's nice to have a younger brother who has grown enough, both mentally and physically, to assume the role of a big brother. Shawn was indeed appreciative of such a brother. I was even more so.
The next day, I find out that my dad got me 2 new tires, and my car checked out to drive to work the next day. I thought to myself.....how lucky I was to have a father who handles all my problems as his own, and a brother to depend on at all times, I was always grateful, and took pride in knowing that I had a father and a brother who were always dependable, strong and affectionate. But this situation gave me the chance to thank God again for such men in my life.
I have watched many news telecast about highway accidents to know my protocol. I get out of my car through the passenger side door, climb over the guardrail and walk away from my car. It's cold and frighteningly dark and I'm all standing all alone with cars zooming by at dangerous speeds. I call the first person that comes to my mind. My father. My saviour. He picks up and I tell him what happened. He is in Hamilton, unable to come to my aid. He senses my panic and tells me not to worry. He tells me we have no choice but to call the police and ask them to send a tow truck. So I did. I dial 911. This crusty lady answers, and I tell her I have a flat tire. Unsurprisingly, she was very rude. Thinking back, I wish I had asked her why she was so rude when I was desperate for her help. BUT, that's beside the point now. She tells me that the tow truck is on it's way.
Then my brother calls me. He is with my dad in Hamilton. He asks me if I'm okay, and tells me not to be scared. I guess he sensed my panic too, now enhanced by my quivering voice and silent sobs . It wouldn't have been too hard. Anyone who knows me, knows I can't handle a crisis well. He tells me not to worry. It all happened so fast after that, and it's all a blur now, but the tow truck guy came. He said his name was Shawn. I had my brother on the line at that time, so he tells me to give the phone to Shawn and he will speak to him. They exchange some words, I hear $150. And I say to myself..."Holly crap". One Hundred and Fifty dollars!!! Why God, why? I barely have enough money to pay my OSAP this month. But like every emergency situation, money wasn't/couldn't be the issue. I just wanted my car back. I wanted to be inside it. I wanted to be safe again.
Shawn hangs up, gives me the phone and tells me to hop into his truck while he hauls my car to his truck. Once inside he tells me something that I would probably remember for a long time. "You have a cool brother". hmmm....sure, ...yes, sometimes I suppose my brother can be passed off as being "cool" ...I mean..he does play basketball and happens to be good at it. So I guess. BUT how did Shawn know this? Shawn continues..., he tells me how my brother said, "I don't care about the money, just get her somewhere safe". Of course, it wasn't his money that was at stake, so he can say whatever he wants. But I know my brother, and I know he would have done the same had it been his money. It's just who he is. It's nice to have a younger brother who has grown enough, both mentally and physically, to assume the role of a big brother. Shawn was indeed appreciative of such a brother. I was even more so.
The next day, I find out that my dad got me 2 new tires, and my car checked out to drive to work the next day. I thought to myself.....how lucky I was to have a father who handles all my problems as his own, and a brother to depend on at all times, I was always grateful, and took pride in knowing that I had a father and a brother who were always dependable, strong and affectionate. But this situation gave me the chance to thank God again for such men in my life.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Why Black Pandi Enna Kalachi'dhan
Anyone who watches Vijay TV's Kanna Kannum Kalangal will instantly know my title's significance. And for those that don't…..what a shame, what a shame. This one particular friend of my brother-in-law, who just happens to have this air around him of knowing good Tamil values by that I mean Tamil cinema values, mentioned in passing that of a Tamil drama that is '...wery good...' called Kanna Kannum Kalangal, (or if you prefer translating it to English I would suggest perhaps 'Dream Dreaming Days'). So one day, with my laptop in hand and nothing better to do, I googled Kanna Kannum Kalangal and came across a site (click here) that had a chronological order of most Tamil dramas. I played a random episode for 3 minutes and stopped. Watching Tamil drama's on my Toshiba laptop was just not my style. But maybe it was fate, because the next day my dad robbed an aunt's mega serial collection, and managed to getaway with 30 episodes of Kanna Kannum Kalangal DVDs. Since it was readily available and that too in DVDs, I decided to watch it. I have been hooked since.
There are 10 main characters. Pandi (alias Black Pandi), Joseph, Pachai, Bala, Raagavi, Vineeth, Unni, Krish, Rishi, and Sangavi. They are all Plus One students at a convent school somewhere in Chennai. The drama unravels their respective lives, goals and ambitions, all in the context of friendship. It is important to note that the main characters are split into two so called 'gangs'. They differentiate in many respects, but noticeably in their riches and rags. Pandi, Joe, Pachai and Bala belong to the rags side, with their immaculate Tamil rhetorics and village-like squanders, whereas Vineeth, Unni, Krish and Rishi ride to school in motorcycles, and speak in cocky English. Both gangs hate each other's guts, and are often found wrestling each other on school grounds, and devising plans to 'kalakira' the other group. Kalakira for those not familiar with this word, simply put means to 'tease' or 'mock'.
Somehow, someone in the Tamil serial industry realized that not all Tamil mega serials have to be about woman heroism and series of sentimental crying scenes. The writers, directors and producers of Kanna Kannum Kalangal have given MUCH importance to laughter and happiness. And they succeed ten folds in delivering such quotients. You are bound to laugh out loud throughout the show, and if you are like me, sometimes even rewinding back to capture the moment again. It reminds you of care free days where your biggest concern was finishing your chemistry homework on time, and hoping that your crush would pass a hello. Now that I'm older, and have my high school days waaaaaay behind me, it's an incredible feeling of nostalgia watching this show. Even though I love all the characters, my favourites are Black Pandi, Joe, and Vineeth. You might even say I have a crush on Vineeth. YES I KNOW! He is most probably 10 years younger than me. But like I said, it takes you back, and he reminds me of someone that I once had one of those once in a life time crushes. *wink. They even taught me some new words that I plan to incorporate in my daily vocabulary when the time is right. Next time you hear…. Kalachi'dan… or Cycle Gapila escape my lips…. don’t be so surprised, no?!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Why I Can Never Be Too Happy...
Hahaha..it's been rather too long my friends! I was pleasantly happy to see that at the least some people, well....3 people, including my sister, noticed my absence. And to those a thank you and a my style curtsy. So why I can never be too happy? I have often wondered this for a long time now but with no satisfying explanation. Of course there a those easily conceivable notions , but nothing concrete and definitely not one single reason I propose. This is why I bring this question into the blogging realm.
I am a pretty simple person. Nothing too complicated or fancy about myself or my life. To be sure, this is not to say that my life has been uneventful. I had my share of consequential happenings over the years. Yet, like everything else in life, time has abated all things good and bad. So that's why I don't point to any single happening in my life to my diluted happiness. But rather, I question my own happiness when I compare it to those that are outright and visibly happy. Sometimes annoyingly happy. These people get excited about the littlest things in life. I mean, yes I appreciate the smaller and finer things in life too. But that doesn't mean I give a little yelp or smile open mouthed EVERY TIME I pass a rack of roses, or a cutesy teddy bear. And I also don't get excited or even remotely perky if I drive by a place where one of my friend or relative lives, and point it out giddily to whoever that happens to be with me. Sure, sometimes it's worth noting to someone else. And even may feel a bit excitement IF IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I PASSED BY. But to rejoice on it every time I pass by? I highly doubt it! But this is me. And this is where I question my (lack of) happiness.
I have 2 people in my life that get easily happy and/or excited by very small happenings, coincidences or tangible materials. Their gaiety is noticeable and sometimes even loud and irritating. For a soft spoken, and reserved person like myself (and that's by popular count), it can be very damaging to the ear drums, not to mention my sanity. Just to give you an image. If I was to be standing next to one of those 2 people, and it was announced over the PA that the movie we were both equally anticipating is being released next week, you would definitely notice her, because she will be the louder, the most excited and the chirpier one. And might even say ' oh my god shalini, oh my god!!! I cant' believe it. We have to go!!! We have to go!!! I am soooo EXCITED!!!". So my question is....does this mean she is more excited/happy about the movie than me? But whhhyyyy? I AM HAPPY TOO. I don't know how to show it (or think I have to), but I AM. I swear. And here lies my dilemma. If I was to show my excitement, this would have to be a conscious effort on my part, and that take a lot of mental work. OR I can simply choose to be myself, appreciate life, and dwell in my own happiness. And yes sometimes this passive approach can be often passed off as unfriendliness, grumpiness, and sometimes even jealousy. But I choose to be true to myself. Because faking happiness and excitement is not my cup of tea. Nor am I that pretentious for it to come so naturally. It's just who I am. This, of course by no way indicates that the other person 'fakes' it either. That's just who they are. I know this because I had this conversation with one of the 2 people. She, for most part, IS genuinely happy and excited about small matters. Do I wish I can be that way? Yes, sometimes. But does this mean I am dead inside? Of course not. I AM excited about the camping trip in May. I AM excited about my pay cheque this Thursday. I AM very happy to know that Ageesh is in the finals of Super Singer 2009. So it's not like I lack Serotonin. Maybe my friends just have a little more....
Does this mean I should worry and question myself about why I can never be too happy? No, I definitely hope not.
I am a pretty simple person. Nothing too complicated or fancy about myself or my life. To be sure, this is not to say that my life has been uneventful. I had my share of consequential happenings over the years. Yet, like everything else in life, time has abated all things good and bad. So that's why I don't point to any single happening in my life to my diluted happiness. But rather, I question my own happiness when I compare it to those that are outright and visibly happy. Sometimes annoyingly happy. These people get excited about the littlest things in life. I mean, yes I appreciate the smaller and finer things in life too. But that doesn't mean I give a little yelp or smile open mouthed EVERY TIME I pass a rack of roses, or a cutesy teddy bear. And I also don't get excited or even remotely perky if I drive by a place where one of my friend or relative lives, and point it out giddily to whoever that happens to be with me. Sure, sometimes it's worth noting to someone else. And even may feel a bit excitement IF IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I PASSED BY. But to rejoice on it every time I pass by? I highly doubt it! But this is me. And this is where I question my (lack of) happiness.
I have 2 people in my life that get easily happy and/or excited by very small happenings, coincidences or tangible materials. Their gaiety is noticeable and sometimes even loud and irritating. For a soft spoken, and reserved person like myself (and that's by popular count), it can be very damaging to the ear drums, not to mention my sanity. Just to give you an image. If I was to be standing next to one of those 2 people, and it was announced over the PA that the movie we were both equally anticipating is being released next week, you would definitely notice her, because she will be the louder, the most excited and the chirpier one. And might even say ' oh my god shalini, oh my god!!! I cant' believe it. We have to go!!! We have to go!!! I am soooo EXCITED!!!". So my question is....does this mean she is more excited/happy about the movie than me? But whhhyyyy? I AM HAPPY TOO. I don't know how to show it (or think I have to), but I AM. I swear. And here lies my dilemma. If I was to show my excitement, this would have to be a conscious effort on my part, and that take a lot of mental work. OR I can simply choose to be myself, appreciate life, and dwell in my own happiness. And yes sometimes this passive approach can be often passed off as unfriendliness, grumpiness, and sometimes even jealousy. But I choose to be true to myself. Because faking happiness and excitement is not my cup of tea. Nor am I that pretentious for it to come so naturally. It's just who I am. This, of course by no way indicates that the other person 'fakes' it either. That's just who they are. I know this because I had this conversation with one of the 2 people. She, for most part, IS genuinely happy and excited about small matters. Do I wish I can be that way? Yes, sometimes. But does this mean I am dead inside? Of course not. I AM excited about the camping trip in May. I AM excited about my pay cheque this Thursday. I AM very happy to know that Ageesh is in the finals of Super Singer 2009. So it's not like I lack Serotonin. Maybe my friends just have a little more....
Does this mean I should worry and question myself about why I can never be too happy? No, I definitely hope not.
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