The $30 Haircut!

I know what you're thinking. What's so bad about a 30 dollar haircut eh? That sounds sooo reasonable in fact. Well you would be right, it would have been perfectly acceptable....HAD I CUT MY HAIR. The truth is, ..... my BOYFRIEND got a $30 haircut. That's right! 30 DOLLARS for a men's haircut. And you know what's the worst part? I HAD TO PAY FOR IT!!!

To better illustrate this highly irritable story, one thing must be said. I come from a household of men(my dad and younger brother) that pay no more, I mean NO MORE than $8 per haircut. And that's only when the salon that charges $5 is closed! So you can imagine the absurdity of paying thirty hard earned dollars for a simple haircut, and that too especially for my boyfriend's hair. URGH!

You know what's the turning point of this story is (if I can call it that)? I AM the guilty perpetrator. Because it was me, ME, MEEEE that gently coerced him into going to a high end salon to get his haircut this month! If you want to know....., it was just not any ordinary monthly haircut. He needed his hair cut for his sister's wedding, so this makes it more justifiable I suppose. There is more to it however....

I outrightly hate my boyfriend's taste in hairstyle. He likes it short and combed down. He claims it's the "only" way to look professional at work. I like it long, and slicked back. The way I first met him!!! We have had countless arguments and petty bickerings solely on this difference. What irks me more is the fact that he absolutely and positively believes he looks better with short hair!!! Trust me, I know my men, and short hair does NOT suit YOU!!!!!!!! Sorry..., oops.....I meant short hair does not suit him. If you see my boyfriend, you'd immediately agree with me. He looks so much, infinitely, better in long, slicked back hair. Just to be sure, when I say long, I don't mean long enough for ponytail long. Oh no, I passed that stage in my life loooong time ago. I only want his hair long enough, so he can casually comb it back with ease.

Over the years we have slowly (and grudgingly) come to a compromise of sort. I get to decide how he cuts his hair (muhahahha), as long as it still remains "somewhat" professional enough for work. This has worked for quite some time now, but recently, mainly due to my negligence, he had been going alone to get his haircuts. And low and behold, of course his hair is cut short short! So I decided this time I will not pass on an opportunity to excercise my right over his hair. That's why I suggested, yes I SUGGESTED that we try a different salon this time, one that has someone that can speak English preferrably. So we drove down to Markville Mall and went to a salon there. There Niroshan came with the bright idea that I should pay for this haircut, since it was I that "cared" so much. Fair enough. Atleast he trusted me. So that's why I paid.

Was it worth it for the $30? Hmmm....no not really. The lady still cut his hair, which meant it is still shorter than what he had walked in with. But was it better than his combed down, school boy look? OH Yes, most definitely. She cut it in a way that when his hair grows now, he can just slick it back and not have to worry about his fade growing out too fast. I hope this sets the standard for all future haircuts, but of course minuse the $30.

In the Absence of Love.

Is it true that every one in this world has loved someone? Not the love a mother feels for her child....but romantic love. The kind of love that slowly creeps up into an unknown heart. The kind of love that makes daydreaming a favourable escape and waiting impossible. Does this mean that everyone has felt the fluttering wings of the thousand butterflies inside them? Where one starts to dream with their eyes open? But is it also possible that someone has not ever loved anyone? .....

I have always loved I believe. From the age I could remember love, I have loved somebody. Did I know it was called love then? Most probably not. But looking back, I can surely say I loved him. A childhood crush? Yes. It started like that. But fate had it that I should love him again, so I did. And I have loved him since. The day I marry him will be my happily ever after....

But thats' me. I had always been the fool for love, a hopless romantic even. That's known however. What has boggled my mind recently is a thought that stirred much interest in me. What about those that I know and positively believe never has loved someone romantically? It may be that they liked someone in their unassuming younger age, but what about now. Have they loved someone? Or is it just that I dont know them well enough.

The Green Tea Saga Continues...

Hello. So here is the update. If you remember correctly, I had recently undertaken the consumption of green tea for none other than for a purely superficial reason - weight loss. It's been I think 2 weeks, maybe 2 and a half, or even close to 3 now. Oh well...but good news is,....I have, willingly and sometimes forcefully, stuck with drinking only, and I mean ONLY green tea for the entire duration. I completely cut out one of the few favourite delights in life: coffee with cream and lots of sugar. AND now...am I not only drinking green tea, but consequently I have also cut out refined sugar! How amazing is that? You would think pretty amazing if only you had known my weekly coffee consumption. I am a self-proclaimed coffee junk....., well, not anymore I suppose!

I know the burning question must be,..."so have you?" You mean, have I lost weight? Honest answer? ....Yes...at least I think so. Minimal? probably, but surely? Yes. How do I know this? Well, everyone knows the best indicator of weight loss is never the topsy-turvy scale! Rather, it's your old jeans and my favourite, an old saree blouse. I prefer the saree blouse over the jeans simply because jeans are more susceptible to waist blubber, which can be shamelessly adjusted by skipping a few meals. But the saree blouse is more stubborn. It wont, and I know this by first hand, and that is, it just wont accommodate any extra 'flesh' than what it was originally designed for! It fits around the most 'vulnerable' parts of your body, the parts that takes a long term commitment of any diet or exercises regime to notice any substantial change. That's why, when I tried on a saree blouse from my younger days, you can imagine the surprise when it had actually fit me!!! Did it fit as well as it should have? Hell NO! But at least this time I could close all the buttons on the blouse! hahahh.

So change is possible. But of course I dont want to get ahead of myself. Only one knows how many times this has been attempted at time after time. Nevertheless, this green tea is new and apparently here to stay. I have actually come to like it. I bought a more mild form than the one my parents are accustomed to, I bought the Tetley Green Tea. It's definitely less nauseating to be sure. It's a shocker, but some times I find myself craving for it too. Especially when I wake from an afternoon nap. This is soooo not Shalini. But I guess I have to grow up at some point right? For me ...green tea just might have showed me the way....

Tell Me My Love...

Tell me what it is that you love so dearly about me? Is it the way I love you back? Or is it the way I find your hand, and interlock my fingers with yours? Maybe it's the way I say I love you to you. Or perhaps, it's the way I stand next to you, with as little space as possible. No. I think it's the way I brush your hair behind your ears. Or even the secret glimpses I pass your way when you are not looking. So which is it my love? Tell me what it is you love about me?

Tell me what it is that you hate so much about me? Is it because I call one too many times back when you don't answer your phone? Or is it the the few times you saw me stare out the window when you talk to me? Maybe it's the way I tell you that I want it my way. Or perhaps you think I still hold a grudge against your family? No. I think it's because I always have something smart to say about your friends? Or even the cranky voice I greet you with at times when I had little sleep. So which is it my love? Tell me what it is that you hate about me?

Music and Lyrics

I have always liked Tamil movie songs. From love songs, to family songs to 'autokaran' songs. I have liked them all. So it should not come as a wonder that I understand Tamil pretty well. Actually, filmy Tamil that is. One of my favourite song is "Palamuthir Solai Enakahathan" from Varusham 16. Such an incredible song composed by Illayarajah and sung by K. Jesudas. It takes me back 20 years instantly. It is the lyrics, the meanings behind each sentence, and the subtle hints at happiness that makes this song amazing.

My boyfriend on the other hand, (I think you have met him before?) Niroshan likes tamil songs too. But strangely enough,.....he doesn't understand the lyrics. His understanding of Tamil songs is similar to what it would feel like when reading off subtitles from Tamil movies. I tell him it's not the same. And that he is missing out on much, like the lyrics and the images and sensations it evokes on an individual when listening to a song. Don't' get me wrong. The music is great too. There are many songs I do like and only like because of its music and nothing more. For example, the song "Minnal Oru Kodi Enthan Uyir Thedi Vanthathay" (Hariharan, Chitra) from VIP is onc such song. I can understand the lyrics, and it's beautiful at times, but the music is what carries the song.

If you think about, and this is what I thought about. This is not a serious problem for the newer generation, or for people like Niroshan. All the newer songs nowadays are accompanied with good, stylish modern music. So irrespective of lyrics they will continue to listen and appreciate Tamil songs. But what is lost on them are the older Tamil songs. The hundresds upon hundreds of beautiful Tamil songs filled with Tamil phrases and words. The ones that had molded the Tamil language in a way that every sentence carries a conversation with our hearts....*sigh.

In order to "correct" this unfortunate, but tolerable flaw in Niroshan, we have come to do something regularly on our car rides, especially the long rides I love so much. This is what we do. We play a Tamil song, and after each sentence or two, I pause the CD player and ask Niroshan to explain what he just heard. At times he impresses me with his descent knowledge of Tamil. But that impression is short lived mostly, as he is often lost in translation.....even after the 16th time of replaying the same sentence over and over again! The most recent attempt at this was for the song "Veesum Katruku Poovai Theriyatha" (Unnikrishnan) from Ullasam. This is a fairly easy to understand song, with day to day Tamil language. Niroshan did a commendable job, his first translation of the title was....'the flower doesn't' know the wind'. Close? perhaps...., but true to it's content? No, he has more car rides ahead of him.

I am Writing...

I am writing today because I want to. And almost have to. It's just so many things have been on my mind, and in my circle and I am starting to wonder the realism of what is my life.

Do you know how I know I am old? There was a time in my life when well intentioned (or not) - uncles and aunts used to ask me, "what are you going to be when you grow up shalini?", "shalinikku enava vara virupam valantha pirahu?". I don't' remember what I used to say, perhaps a doctor? but I doubt it,.... even as a child I don't believe I was much ambitious. Nonetheless, this is what I know now. I can no longer answer that question. I am 26 for one. That constitutes 'grown up' right?! . And now that I am all grown up, I know more, and like they say ....'with wisdom comes great sorrow'. Isn't it sad really? I can never say I want to be "this" when I grow up. That time has passed me by...., were my eyes open?

Did you know sometimes he still whispers to me? He wrote me a letter today. After so many years of silence, and quite rebuttals, he decided to write me an unsealed letter. It didn't say Dear Shalini...., it began......Shalni...just like how he'd say my name. I didn't read it of course. He read it to me. I think I heard his voice. He didn't whisper this time.

How do you stop someone from crashing their own world? A world they had once built with so much love, time, patience and courage. A world that has now become too small that it is takes complete effort and concentration just to breathe. How does one escape that? What if that some one is a friend? Do you stand back and watch, or do you step inside their crushing world?

Why do so many people come into our lives, but only a few stay? Do you know the story of my life? The haunting of my pasts that still lingers around my shadows are mostly unknown to the adorned gaze. Everyday seems a struggle like another day in the past. How do you go on living when you know everything can be lost in a single moment? what am i not saying....,