I have always liked Tamil movie songs. From love songs, to family songs to 'autokaran' songs. I have liked them all. So it should not come as a wonder that I understand Tamil pretty well. Actually, filmy Tamil that is. One of my favourite song is "Palamuthir Solai Enakahathan" from Varusham 16. Such an incredible song composed by Illayarajah and sung by K. Jesudas. It takes me back 20 years instantly. It is the lyrics, the meanings behind each sentence, and the subtle hints at happiness that makes this song amazing.
My boyfriend on the other hand, (I think you have met him before?) Niroshan likes tamil songs too. But strangely enough,.....he doesn't understand the lyrics. His understanding of Tamil songs is similar to what it would feel like when reading off subtitles from Tamil movies. I tell him it's not the same. And that he is missing out on much, like the lyrics and the images and sensations it evokes on an individual when listening to a song. Don't' get me wrong. The music is great too. There are many songs I do like and only like because of its music and nothing more. For example, the song "Minnal Oru Kodi Enthan Uyir Thedi Vanthathay" (Hariharan, Chitra) from VIP is onc such song. I can understand the lyrics, and it's beautiful at times, but the music is what carries the song.
If you think about, and this is what I thought about. This is not a serious problem for the newer generation, or for people like Niroshan. All the newer songs nowadays are accompanied with good, stylish modern music. So irrespective of lyrics they will continue to listen and appreciate Tamil songs. But what is lost on them are the older Tamil songs. The hundresds upon hundreds of beautiful Tamil songs filled with Tamil phrases and words. The ones that had molded the Tamil language in a way that every sentence carries a conversation with our hearts....*sigh.
In order to "correct" this unfortunate, but tolerable flaw in Niroshan, we have come to do something regularly on our car rides, especially the long rides I love so much. This is what we do. We play a Tamil song, and after each sentence or two, I pause the CD player and ask Niroshan to explain what he just heard. At times he impresses me with his descent knowledge of Tamil. But that impression is short lived mostly, as he is often lost in translation.....even after the 16th time of replaying the same sentence over and over again! The most recent attempt at this was for the song "Veesum Katruku Poovai Theriyatha" (Unnikrishnan) from Ullasam. This is a fairly easy to understand song, with day to day Tamil language. Niroshan did a commendable job, his first translation of the title was....'the flower doesn't' know the wind'. Close? perhaps...., but true to it's content? No, he has more car rides ahead of him.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
I am Writing...
I am writing today because I want to. And almost have to. It's just so many things have been on my mind, and in my circle and I am starting to wonder the realism of what is my life.
Do you know how I know I am old? There was a time in my life when well intentioned (or not) - uncles and aunts used to ask me, "what are you going to be when you grow up shalini?", "shalinikku enava vara virupam valantha pirahu?". I don't' remember what I used to say, perhaps a doctor? but I doubt it,.... even as a child I don't believe I was much ambitious. Nonetheless, this is what I know now. I can no longer answer that question. I am 26 for one. That constitutes 'grown up' right?! . And now that I am all grown up, I know more, and like they say ....'with wisdom comes great sorrow'. Isn't it sad really? I can never say I want to be "this" when I grow up. That time has passed me by...., were my eyes open?
Did you know sometimes he still whispers to me? He wrote me a letter today. After so many years of silence, and quite rebuttals, he decided to write me an unsealed letter. It didn't say Dear Shalini...., it began......Shalni...just like how he'd say my name. I didn't read it of course. He read it to me. I think I heard his voice. He didn't whisper this time.
How do you stop someone from crashing their own world? A world they had once built with so much love, time, patience and courage. A world that has now become too small that it is takes complete effort and concentration just to breathe. How does one escape that? What if that some one is a friend? Do you stand back and watch, or do you step inside their crushing world?
Why do so many people come into our lives, but only a few stay? Do you know the story of my life? The haunting of my pasts that still lingers around my shadows are mostly unknown to the adorned gaze. Everyday seems a struggle like another day in the past. How do you go on living when you know everything can be lost in a single moment? what am i not saying....,
Do you know how I know I am old? There was a time in my life when well intentioned (or not) - uncles and aunts used to ask me, "what are you going to be when you grow up shalini?", "shalinikku enava vara virupam valantha pirahu?". I don't' remember what I used to say, perhaps a doctor? but I doubt it,.... even as a child I don't believe I was much ambitious. Nonetheless, this is what I know now. I can no longer answer that question. I am 26 for one. That constitutes 'grown up' right?! . And now that I am all grown up, I know more, and like they say ....'with wisdom comes great sorrow'. Isn't it sad really? I can never say I want to be "this" when I grow up. That time has passed me by...., were my eyes open?
Did you know sometimes he still whispers to me? He wrote me a letter today. After so many years of silence, and quite rebuttals, he decided to write me an unsealed letter. It didn't say Dear Shalini...., it began......Shalni...just like how he'd say my name. I didn't read it of course. He read it to me. I think I heard his voice. He didn't whisper this time.
How do you stop someone from crashing their own world? A world they had once built with so much love, time, patience and courage. A world that has now become too small that it is takes complete effort and concentration just to breathe. How does one escape that? What if that some one is a friend? Do you stand back and watch, or do you step inside their crushing world?
Why do so many people come into our lives, but only a few stay? Do you know the story of my life? The haunting of my pasts that still lingers around my shadows are mostly unknown to the adorned gaze. Everyday seems a struggle like another day in the past. How do you go on living when you know everything can be lost in a single moment? what am i not saying....,
Thursday, July 9, 2009
What's in a Green Tea?!
Green tea was one of those things that I swore to myself that I wouldn't succumb to. Not even during my most desperate attempts at weight loss. yet. YET, here I am, drinking green tea!!! What does this mean?! Oh boy, I have become utterly desperate haven't I?. It's no secret that any girl past 20 years of age, and well over 110lbs is in search of an agreeable diet (How Jane Austen of me!). And so am I. I am 26, and I weight......, HA I'm sorry, I don't think I know you well enough! Besides, this blog wasn't all about candidness was it? Either way, my weight is not the issue. I mean, my exact weight is not the issue. The issue is, like every other girl I know, well maybe except my sister right now, is trying to lose weight. Or to be more friendly to those in denial, at least are trying to "tone" their body.
I don't remember the exact day, month or even year I realized that I'm on the heavy side. I guess I have always known that I'm not skinny, but to be constantly conscious and distressed about my weight, I do not know when it started. The point is, I am still conscious of my weight. VERY conscious. Not in the, oh my god, I won't touch that chilli chicken kinda way, but in a more, damn, why did I binge on that chilli chicken way. An after the fact remorse. Something that's far too prevalent in my eating ways. Only those poor souls that have tried losing weight (not your already skinny girl, but wants to lose 5 lbs weirdo!) will ever truly know the suffering behind "trying" to lose it. Isn't that the case? Always "trying" to lose it. I can honestly say I have been "trying" for the past 6 odd years! Of course, trying is such a loosely interpreted word!
The smallest of compliments, event at the most fleeting moment, such as 'Shalini you look like you lost weight eh!' can send you into a whirlwind of pure euphoria. Thank God for nice people.
As easy as it may be to give compliments, it's not always so to receive them. That's why when you genuinely pay a compliment to a friend, she'll comeback with a 'nahhh. are you kidding me? i just ate 10lbs of kottu rotti at home'. At this point, you can make a decision; continue to imprudently gratify your friend's ego, until she gives in and finally admits to maybe losing 3lbs. Or, you can simply change the subject. The truth is, unless they themself can look in the mirror and notice a considerable change, they will always be at unease with compliments. But to be sure...., this does not apply to those that have obviously lost so much weight, and are dressing much slimmer, yet seemingly dismisses it. They call those people "crazies" in my Oor (village). HA!
Anyways, where was I? right..., so it's sooooooooooooo hard to lose weight. For me, the one that loves food. The one that loves home made rice with chicken curry, kirai, boiled mutai, kilanku porial, venkaiya samapl, and shrimp poriyal. The one that salivates at the mere thought of fries supreme!!! Oh come to me baby! Yes, so you can appreciate my struggle now can you? It's one of the hardest thing I have to do, to control the intake of "fantabulously" delicious food as my mom's vella puttu with attu irachi!!!!!
The struggle continues.............., w/ green tea.
I don't remember the exact day, month or even year I realized that I'm on the heavy side. I guess I have always known that I'm not skinny, but to be constantly conscious and distressed about my weight, I do not know when it started. The point is, I am still conscious of my weight. VERY conscious. Not in the, oh my god, I won't touch that chilli chicken kinda way, but in a more, damn, why did I binge on that chilli chicken way. An after the fact remorse. Something that's far too prevalent in my eating ways. Only those poor souls that have tried losing weight (not your already skinny girl, but wants to lose 5 lbs weirdo!) will ever truly know the suffering behind "trying" to lose it. Isn't that the case? Always "trying" to lose it. I can honestly say I have been "trying" for the past 6 odd years! Of course, trying is such a loosely interpreted word!
The smallest of compliments, event at the most fleeting moment, such as 'Shalini you look like you lost weight eh!' can send you into a whirlwind of pure euphoria. Thank God for nice people.
As easy as it may be to give compliments, it's not always so to receive them. That's why when you genuinely pay a compliment to a friend, she'll comeback with a 'nahhh. are you kidding me? i just ate 10lbs of kottu rotti at home'. At this point, you can make a decision; continue to imprudently gratify your friend's ego, until she gives in and finally admits to maybe losing 3lbs. Or, you can simply change the subject. The truth is, unless they themself can look in the mirror and notice a considerable change, they will always be at unease with compliments. But to be sure...., this does not apply to those that have obviously lost so much weight, and are dressing much slimmer, yet seemingly dismisses it. They call those people "crazies" in my Oor (village). HA!
Anyways, where was I? right..., so it's sooooooooooooo hard to lose weight. For me, the one that loves food. The one that loves home made rice with chicken curry, kirai, boiled mutai, kilanku porial, venkaiya samapl, and shrimp poriyal. The one that salivates at the mere thought of fries supreme!!! Oh come to me baby! Yes, so you can appreciate my struggle now can you? It's one of the hardest thing I have to do, to control the intake of "fantabulously" delicious food as my mom's vella puttu with attu irachi!!!!!
The struggle continues.............., w/ green tea.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
What Ticked Me Off..., A Lot Has Apparently!
My friends will generally describe me as a moody person. For some part they are correct. For instance, when I am hungry I can be quite irritated by mundane nuisances. But usually their perception of me has to do a lot more with their own inability to comprehend and appreciate dissent. I am very opinionated. Not in a worldly-affair sorta way, but in a personal my-life kinda way. If I don't like something I will say it. If I want to have things certain ways, *ahem - my way, I will ask for it. Unless I am exceedingly excited and that too about something in the near future, I usually wont' be caught grinning giddily. (*But you already knew that about me didn't you!) AND ESPECIALLY if you don't want my opinon, then don't ask for it. Simple as that right? WRONG! I am always misunderstood, and easily perceived to be ill-tempered or just plain inconsiderate I suppose. Frankly, I don't really care about their misinterpretations of my intent. When little things bother me, I speak my mind. I do this more so for my sanity than anything else. The reason I don't' feel bad about expressing my thoughts, however unfavourably they might be taken, has to do with my believe that underneath it all, when it really comes down to my core, I know I am a nice person and will not intentionally hurt anyone. Well......., not anymore at least (*when I was a kid, it was an entirely different story...muhahhaha).
I thought it would be an interesting a read to entertain my readers with such things that annoy the crap out of Shalini Murugiah. These are my personal and particular pet peeves I suppose.
1. Cheap people! one time, sure. even a next, i will let it pass. but if it's something that's obviously become a pattern, i will get pretttttty damn irritated.
2. People that make me wait! I don't mind waiting for 5 minutes, maybe even 10, anything longer however suggests to me that my time is not valued. Of course there are exceptions. But if a time has already been acknowledged, I expect full effort from both parties to keep that time.
3. Those that cannot shut up long enough to ask you how your day was! Not everyone can talk non-stop, some of us need to breath. Let the other person say what's on their mind too. They might be wanting to say something too you know....
4. People that brag! It's one thing to share good news, and a whole 180` to boast. Yes, you are rich....get over it! Yes...you are 100 lbs...., now eat something! hahhaha....! There is always a tasteful way of establishing your accomplishments...., merely speaking about it, and exaggerating finer points is not going to help you.
5. Serious people! Not everything that gets planned goes well, and not everything that is spontaneous goes awry. Mistakes happen. People are only human. Some are more prone to misfortunes than others......GET OVER IT!
6. People who belittle others! I may not be the smartest, the prettiest, or the one with the greatest job. But that doesn't mean I have accomplished little in life. Everyone has their own story of how they got to be where they are today. Not every ones milk koppee was given in a silver tray. The day you start judging people on their looks and money, the day you have become a petty human yourself.
7. Unsmiling people! If you see someone you knew once, please do smile. Friendly people are my favourite people in the world. They just have something so Godly about themselves.
8. Inconsiderate fools! It's good to have eaten. But if you had eaten at the expense of other's, are you truly satisfied? Of course not. There is a saying in Tamil..."ELL ENDALUM 7ella Pirikkannum". Remember to hold doors for others, remember to shut doors properly. Remember to clean up after yourself after using someone's washroom, kitchen. Just simply remember to be courteous and have common sense.
9. If you borrow something, please return it! If I have something of yours, please ask me, I know sometimes it's just memory that fails us. So when someone asks for something back, don't get offended. I won't.
10. Dont' take everything so personally! Sometimes, although this might come as a shock for some..................., the world does not revolve around you. Trust me on this. If I tell you something, take it as it is, do not make it personal pleassssssssssssssse!
I thought it would be an interesting a read to entertain my readers with such things that annoy the crap out of Shalini Murugiah. These are my personal and particular pet peeves I suppose.
1. Cheap people! one time, sure. even a next, i will let it pass. but if it's something that's obviously become a pattern, i will get pretttttty damn irritated.
2. People that make me wait! I don't mind waiting for 5 minutes, maybe even 10, anything longer however suggests to me that my time is not valued. Of course there are exceptions. But if a time has already been acknowledged, I expect full effort from both parties to keep that time.
3. Those that cannot shut up long enough to ask you how your day was! Not everyone can talk non-stop, some of us need to breath. Let the other person say what's on their mind too. They might be wanting to say something too you know....
4. People that brag! It's one thing to share good news, and a whole 180` to boast. Yes, you are rich....get over it! Yes...you are 100 lbs...., now eat something! hahhaha....! There is always a tasteful way of establishing your accomplishments...., merely speaking about it, and exaggerating finer points is not going to help you.
5. Serious people! Not everything that gets planned goes well, and not everything that is spontaneous goes awry. Mistakes happen. People are only human. Some are more prone to misfortunes than others......GET OVER IT!
6. People who belittle others! I may not be the smartest, the prettiest, or the one with the greatest job. But that doesn't mean I have accomplished little in life. Everyone has their own story of how they got to be where they are today. Not every ones milk koppee was given in a silver tray. The day you start judging people on their looks and money, the day you have become a petty human yourself.
7. Unsmiling people! If you see someone you knew once, please do smile. Friendly people are my favourite people in the world. They just have something so Godly about themselves.
8. Inconsiderate fools! It's good to have eaten. But if you had eaten at the expense of other's, are you truly satisfied? Of course not. There is a saying in Tamil..."ELL ENDALUM 7ella Pirikkannum". Remember to hold doors for others, remember to shut doors properly. Remember to clean up after yourself after using someone's washroom, kitchen. Just simply remember to be courteous and have common sense.
9. If you borrow something, please return it! If I have something of yours, please ask me, I know sometimes it's just memory that fails us. So when someone asks for something back, don't get offended. I won't.
10. Dont' take everything so personally! Sometimes, although this might come as a shock for some..................., the world does not revolve around you. Trust me on this. If I tell you something, take it as it is, do not make it personal pleassssssssssssssse!
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Oru Nalla Pattu.....
This is one of the few amazing things about YouTube. I was listening to some tamil songs when I came across this song, "Manil Vantha Nilave" oh so ramdomly. You will never know just how much I love this song, yet the last time I heard this song was a decade ago. This song is also a background song on my 6th birthday video, and I simply love it! Whenever I listen to this song, it makes me soooo happy-jolly, and I smile openly with a big deep breath. Though my parents will probably never have the words to express their love to us, I know if they can, it will be everything this song is about, and I hope to pass this song to their grandchildren as lullabies someday.....,.
A trip to Elanthulir (a Tamil video store at Warden & Finch) is a most definite plan now. I hope to find this movie there. It will be nice to watch this movie again with Nadiya, Rahuman and Baby Shalini. While I'm on this topic, just want to cover something pretty exciting. So for the last few weeks, I have been buying older Tamil movies from the 80s and 90s from Elanthulir. These are movies that I remember enjoying, but vaguly remember now since I haven't watched them in quite some time. Recently I rented the movies Idhayam (Murali and Heera), Karna (Arjun and Ranjitha) and Nattamai (Sarathkumar,Kusboo and Meena). These were all movies that I liked at one point, and wanted to watch again now. Anyways, Elanthulir has this folder with over 2000 + Tamil movies in their list, complete with actors names written beside each movie. This is a very rare system in Canada, hence my elaboration and excitement. For me, watching these older movies is like a happy drug.
A trip to Elanthulir (a Tamil video store at Warden & Finch) is a most definite plan now. I hope to find this movie there. It will be nice to watch this movie again with Nadiya, Rahuman and Baby Shalini. While I'm on this topic, just want to cover something pretty exciting. So for the last few weeks, I have been buying older Tamil movies from the 80s and 90s from Elanthulir. These are movies that I remember enjoying, but vaguly remember now since I haven't watched them in quite some time. Recently I rented the movies Idhayam (Murali and Heera), Karna (Arjun and Ranjitha) and Nattamai (Sarathkumar,Kusboo and Meena). These were all movies that I liked at one point, and wanted to watch again now. Anyways, Elanthulir has this folder with over 2000 + Tamil movies in their list, complete with actors names written beside each movie. This is a very rare system in Canada, hence my elaboration and excitement. For me, watching these older movies is like a happy drug.
Song Title : Mannil Vantha Nilave
Movie Title : Nilave Malare
Singers : P Susheela
Music : M S Viswanathan M S
Thursday, June 18, 2009
The Fury of A Woman
The fury of a women. Well, not just any woman,but the fury of my closest friend. It's a funny incident actually. Perhaps, something that will stay with me for a long time to come, and even evoke laughter at the thought of such a rumble. I guess it's moments like these that marks one's life with excitement. So here is what happened that sunny Sunday afternoon at the park.
I was at the L'Amoreaux Park with 2 of my good friends enjoying the snail-like walk we had adopted under the scorching sun. It was just past 2pm, and though we were worried about our impending, and unwanted tan, the gust of cool wind blowing past us, was just too seductive. We soaked under the sun for the next 2 hours lying on our backs on top of the lush green grass. It was time to head home, with much resentment, we dragged ourselves to the parking lot towards our cars. That's when we heard the ice-cream truck. DING DONG. DING DONG. DING DONG. I can't remember the last time I ran towards an ice-cream truck to buy an ice-cream, I was never that kid. And I wasn't any different today either.
"I think I am going to get myself an ice-cream" says my friend, hmmm....I'm going to name her, Pooja* since I haven't run this blog post by my friends, and not sure if they'd appreciate me using their real names here. Anyways, just for character sake, Pooja is my good friend from University, and I relate and respect her very much like an older sister. My other friend, Anjali* (who is my dear old friend from high school, and my closest friend till today), also decides to treat herself to an ice-cream. After all, the heavy sweating has definitely earned all of us a treat. We walk over to the ice-cream truck, and are the first ones there, behind us were 3 Chinese kids. Pooja asks for a vanilla flavoured cone ice-cream. The ice-cream lady, an old aged, dark skinned woman, with badly decayed teeth poured the ice-cream onto a cone, and handed it over to my friend.
Here's where the story gets interesting. We quickly notice that the ice-cream is not poured rightly onto the cone at all. In fact, it was so lopsided, my friend had to give it a quick lick to position it rightly on the cone. I point this out to Pooja. She acknowledges it, was not too thrilled about it, but we didn't think much of it. I mean yes we were disappointed that the ice-cream was not perfectly placed, but nothing crept passed that surface acknowledgement. Sridevi orders her cone now. She asks for vanilla dipped in chocolate. When the lady passes the ice-cream to Anjali, I notice once again the ice-cream is carelessly, and foolishly misplaced! I bring this to Anjali's attention. She was annoyed, but didn't' think it was too important. Wasn't it just going into her tummy as liquid mesh anyhow? Yet, selectively righteous me, wants to ask for another ice-cream, a pretty looking one, but more over, one that wont topple anytime soon.
*On a side note, I refer to myself as selectively righteous, because it is only in certain situations I would have the courage, or compulsion to question certain things. I know! I am flawed in many ways my friends.
In continuing my story, I see that my friend didn't really prefer, or waste her time in asking for another ice-cream. So I turn to the lady, who by the way has not even smiled once since arriving, and ask her for another ice-cream that which is properly poured onto the cone. She is evidently irritated by my request, and say NO! I put forth my request again, she glares down at me from her high open window and asks, "whaaatt dooo you mean?", in her broken English-Guyanese accent. I ask her to give my friend another ice-cream, tell her it's sloppy, and is dripping all over the place. She comes back with an even more chafed tone, and says NO. It must have been at that moment that my friend Anjali interrupted, and told the woman to give her another ice-cream or she is not paying. I am secretly excited that my friend has not paid yet, and realize this will give us the edge at the least. But, as my tone with the woman was merely a friendly, scared puppy like version. I stare back at my friend who is standing tall, with eyes protruding out with anger. Anjali tells her, "you don't talk to my friend like that and expect me to pay you. Give me a new one, or I am not going to pay you". The crusty old lady gets nasty now, and starts throwing back threats. "You better paiii me, or I weeeell call the poleeeeece". My friend doesn't' budge, stares right back and tells her to call. Of course the woman doesn't. At this point my friend is very irate, and wants to simply leave. She doesn't want to take the ice-cream without paying and tries to put it away. The lady grabs her wrists and pushes it back. Ice-cream is spilled all over my friend's shoes, and her favourite tote bag. She is overtly angry now. The woman sneers at her. My friend sneers back.
All the while, as I watch this scene unfold in front of my eyes, I can't help when my mind drifts off to the last movie I watched in theatres. It was a scary movie called, Drag me to Hell. I feel a chill run through my back as I realize the similarities. What if, I think to myself. This scene is eerily too similar to what happened in the movie. The old, Gypsy lady in the movie, puts a curse on this seemingly innocent young woman who denies her a loan to put off her imminent eviction. Whooaaa I say. This lady reminds me of that lady, a d-evil in hiding perhaps. So I urge my friend to let's go. She was in no mood to tolerate this any longer too, so she forcibly puts away the ice-cream into the van, and walks away. I was proud of my friend who stood up for herself and her right to a decent ice-cream. I mean, we could have simply ignored it, and let it go, but the lady's attitude was just too good to pass. She told me later that her fury was unleashed mainly by the lady's unwarranted anger towards me, when I had initially requested fora new ice-cream politely.
I was at the L'Amoreaux Park with 2 of my good friends enjoying the snail-like walk we had adopted under the scorching sun. It was just past 2pm, and though we were worried about our impending, and unwanted tan, the gust of cool wind blowing past us, was just too seductive. We soaked under the sun for the next 2 hours lying on our backs on top of the lush green grass. It was time to head home, with much resentment, we dragged ourselves to the parking lot towards our cars. That's when we heard the ice-cream truck. DING DONG. DING DONG. DING DONG. I can't remember the last time I ran towards an ice-cream truck to buy an ice-cream, I was never that kid. And I wasn't any different today either.
"I think I am going to get myself an ice-cream" says my friend, hmmm....I'm going to name her, Pooja* since I haven't run this blog post by my friends, and not sure if they'd appreciate me using their real names here. Anyways, just for character sake, Pooja is my good friend from University, and I relate and respect her very much like an older sister. My other friend, Anjali* (who is my dear old friend from high school, and my closest friend till today), also decides to treat herself to an ice-cream. After all, the heavy sweating has definitely earned all of us a treat. We walk over to the ice-cream truck, and are the first ones there, behind us were 3 Chinese kids. Pooja asks for a vanilla flavoured cone ice-cream. The ice-cream lady, an old aged, dark skinned woman, with badly decayed teeth poured the ice-cream onto a cone, and handed it over to my friend.
Here's where the story gets interesting. We quickly notice that the ice-cream is not poured rightly onto the cone at all. In fact, it was so lopsided, my friend had to give it a quick lick to position it rightly on the cone. I point this out to Pooja. She acknowledges it, was not too thrilled about it, but we didn't think much of it. I mean yes we were disappointed that the ice-cream was not perfectly placed, but nothing crept passed that surface acknowledgement. Sridevi orders her cone now. She asks for vanilla dipped in chocolate. When the lady passes the ice-cream to Anjali, I notice once again the ice-cream is carelessly, and foolishly misplaced! I bring this to Anjali's attention. She was annoyed, but didn't' think it was too important. Wasn't it just going into her tummy as liquid mesh anyhow? Yet, selectively righteous me, wants to ask for another ice-cream, a pretty looking one, but more over, one that wont topple anytime soon.
*On a side note, I refer to myself as selectively righteous, because it is only in certain situations I would have the courage, or compulsion to question certain things. I know! I am flawed in many ways my friends.
In continuing my story, I see that my friend didn't really prefer, or waste her time in asking for another ice-cream. So I turn to the lady, who by the way has not even smiled once since arriving, and ask her for another ice-cream that which is properly poured onto the cone. She is evidently irritated by my request, and say NO! I put forth my request again, she glares down at me from her high open window and asks, "whaaatt dooo you mean?", in her broken English-Guyanese accent. I ask her to give my friend another ice-cream, tell her it's sloppy, and is dripping all over the place. She comes back with an even more chafed tone, and says NO. It must have been at that moment that my friend Anjali interrupted, and told the woman to give her another ice-cream or she is not paying. I am secretly excited that my friend has not paid yet, and realize this will give us the edge at the least. But, as my tone with the woman was merely a friendly, scared puppy like version. I stare back at my friend who is standing tall, with eyes protruding out with anger. Anjali tells her, "you don't talk to my friend like that and expect me to pay you. Give me a new one, or I am not going to pay you". The crusty old lady gets nasty now, and starts throwing back threats. "You better paiii me, or I weeeell call the poleeeeece". My friend doesn't' budge, stares right back and tells her to call. Of course the woman doesn't. At this point my friend is very irate, and wants to simply leave. She doesn't want to take the ice-cream without paying and tries to put it away. The lady grabs her wrists and pushes it back. Ice-cream is spilled all over my friend's shoes, and her favourite tote bag. She is overtly angry now. The woman sneers at her. My friend sneers back.
All the while, as I watch this scene unfold in front of my eyes, I can't help when my mind drifts off to the last movie I watched in theatres. It was a scary movie called, Drag me to Hell. I feel a chill run through my back as I realize the similarities. What if, I think to myself. This scene is eerily too similar to what happened in the movie. The old, Gypsy lady in the movie, puts a curse on this seemingly innocent young woman who denies her a loan to put off her imminent eviction. Whooaaa I say. This lady reminds me of that lady, a d-evil in hiding perhaps. So I urge my friend to let's go. She was in no mood to tolerate this any longer too, so she forcibly puts away the ice-cream into the van, and walks away. I was proud of my friend who stood up for herself and her right to a decent ice-cream. I mean, we could have simply ignored it, and let it go, but the lady's attitude was just too good to pass. She told me later that her fury was unleashed mainly by the lady's unwarranted anger towards me, when I had initially requested fora new ice-cream politely.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Today is my Mother's Birthday!
Why I love my mother. Though she may never read this blog, or even come to know that I have a blog, I am compelled to write about this wonderful woman that I call Amma.
Amma, what beautiful images and emotions the word resonates as you say it out loud. Especially when I say Amma. My mom is a little women, with little dreams for herself, and great ones for her three children (me included). She was born and raised in Saravanai, Jaffna, Srilanka. She wasn't the best of students, her education was not hers nor her family's first priority. While her elder brothers (four of them) went onto universities, and business ventures, she was asked to quit school at tenth grade and heeded to the demands of womanhood. Cooking and cleaning. Not that she complained of course (I wouldn't have either).
Her marriage to my dad was arranged in 1980. There are many juicy, gossip worthy incidents during this period to disclose, but not here. Of course, maybe if you become a member of my family or extended family, through marriage or birth, I will one day indulge you. Now she has been married for close to 30 years. She is celebrating her 56th birthday this year. It's hard to believe she is fifty-six. For children, their parents will always be young, strong, and powerful, capable of alleviating all bad, including a 'not so clean bedroom'. For me, my mom will always be my better self. My mom is a small woman, at only 4'10. But to compensate for that perhaps, her energy is infinite. Especially if its in any way needed by my brother's presence. In the company of my mother, we are at our laziest. But in the company of my mother, we are also at our greatest debt. We can only hope to make this great woman as happy as she has made us in being our Amma.
*side note: just to be sure, a lot of how my mother has grown into a mother we love abundantly has a lot to do with the unwavering love and respect she has received from my Appa over the many years ....
Amma, what beautiful images and emotions the word resonates as you say it out loud. Especially when I say Amma. My mom is a little women, with little dreams for herself, and great ones for her three children (me included). She was born and raised in Saravanai, Jaffna, Srilanka. She wasn't the best of students, her education was not hers nor her family's first priority. While her elder brothers (four of them) went onto universities, and business ventures, she was asked to quit school at tenth grade and heeded to the demands of womanhood. Cooking and cleaning. Not that she complained of course (I wouldn't have either).
Her marriage to my dad was arranged in 1980. There are many juicy, gossip worthy incidents during this period to disclose, but not here. Of course, maybe if you become a member of my family or extended family, through marriage or birth, I will one day indulge you. Now she has been married for close to 30 years. She is celebrating her 56th birthday this year. It's hard to believe she is fifty-six. For children, their parents will always be young, strong, and powerful, capable of alleviating all bad, including a 'not so clean bedroom'. For me, my mom will always be my better self. My mom is a small woman, at only 4'10. But to compensate for that perhaps, her energy is infinite. Especially if its in any way needed by my brother's presence. In the company of my mother, we are at our laziest. But in the company of my mother, we are also at our greatest debt. We can only hope to make this great woman as happy as she has made us in being our Amma.
*side note: just to be sure, a lot of how my mother has grown into a mother we love abundantly has a lot to do with the unwavering love and respect she has received from my Appa over the many years ....
Thursday, May 28, 2009
This Pathetic World
I have come to realize, at this moment, with every happenings surrounding our convoluted being, though it is a beautiful world in close subjectivity, it still remains a pathetic one at large. The UN and the international community have failed Tamil people at their most desperate time. This will dampen any achievements thus far....
I am questioning the very existence of UN at this point. What is humanitarianism, if you cannot defend it's values? Why do laws exist, if you cannot defend it's rationale? This is a joke. The UN is a joke. The Srilankan Government is a joke. Any person involved in this pathetic arena called politics is a joke. What is real, and what is true, is that we all live in a pathetic world!
I am questioning the very existence of UN at this point. What is humanitarianism, if you cannot defend it's values? Why do laws exist, if you cannot defend it's rationale? This is a joke. The UN is a joke. The Srilankan Government is a joke. Any person involved in this pathetic arena called politics is a joke. What is real, and what is true, is that we all live in a pathetic world!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
A Sad Day for Tamils...
It is indeed a very sad day for Tamils everywhere. With influx of mixed reports coming in from around the world, the truth is yet to be confirmed. And whatever the 'truth' may be, it is still a very sad day for Tamils nonetheless. The sole protectors of Tamils interest have been silenced. The question still remains what will become of the Tamils in Srilanka. Though the final days of this war were imminent, little attention was given to the days post-LTTE, as the Srilankan Government's exclusive goal was to rid of LTTE, and it's leaders, namely Prabaharan, with little regard to civilian lives. These next few days, and weeks, will be crucial in relieving the gross ethnic divide the war has spurred among the Tamils and Sinhalese, both in Srilanka, and outside. All eyes will be on Mahinda Rajapaska, and the political solutions, if any, he will put forth. Then only, will we know whether the rise of the LTTE is destined....
I am speechless for the most part. Although I questioned the tactics of the protesters in raising the LTTE flags, I will never question the sacrifice, and bravery of the LTTE cadres. They were simply young Tamils, just like me and you, born to Tamil parents. Their parents had the same aspirations and hopes for them, as ours. Yet, due to unfortunate circumstance, they had to stay behind, while the rest fled. They fought for the rights of Tamils, and brought the plight of Tamils to the world stage and that can never be dismissed. And never forgotten. As they will forever be heroes and martyrs in many hearts.
I am speechless for the most part. Although I questioned the tactics of the protesters in raising the LTTE flags, I will never question the sacrifice, and bravery of the LTTE cadres. They were simply young Tamils, just like me and you, born to Tamil parents. Their parents had the same aspirations and hopes for them, as ours. Yet, due to unfortunate circumstance, they had to stay behind, while the rest fled. They fought for the rights of Tamils, and brought the plight of Tamils to the world stage and that can never be dismissed. And never forgotten. As they will forever be heroes and martyrs in many hearts.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Who is D.B.S Jeyaraj?
Hi everyone….I came across this article, Tigers, Tamil Diaspora and the Tamil Civilians Plights (click here) by D.B.S Jeyaraj, while I was reading an article from the Globe and Mail, (click here). Frankly, I don’t know what to think. But all I know is it's definitely something we must read too. As always, there is two sides to a story. I don’t know this D.B.S Jeyaraj guy. I didn't hear of him till today. I don’t know whether he is a "good" guy or a "bad" guy, or even if he has any credentials or his claims any legitimacy. Yet, I did read through the entire article, and I hope you will do the same. Maybe some things will be too difficult to appreciate, especially for some of you (*perhaps). Anyways…if anyone can shed some light as to who this man is, or even if I should be reading any of his stuff, please speak up. If this is news to you, maybe it sparked the same questions as it did to me….better yet…I would love to hear your opinion on his article….will you be brave enough to take a stand? Or are you just a confused bugger like me….?
*Just so you know, the above was originaly written by me yesterday night. I have new insight today. I researched some more, and I think I am liking this Jeyaraj, who happens to be a Tamil journalist based in Toronto. I will definitely write more about my thoughts on him in my coming posts....
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Why Don't You Read this, .....?!
Sri Lanka Puts Obama to the Test — and He's Failing
By Romesh Ratnesar - (click here for artcile)
My thoughts now.......For those that find themselves asking, what the international community can really do for the Tamils, here in this article are some answers. It's not about picking sides. Well, atleast it doesnt' have to be. Maybe Canada needs to understand this. But at the same time, maybe the Canadian government is confused. Maybe Canada thinks, if they were to talk for the Tamils they will be looked upon as sympathizers of Tamill Tigers, who are clearly declared terrorists in Canada. Can you blame them? Though the protests happening in Toronto, and around the world, have the best of intentions, the flying of the LTTE flags diminishes any strong support it might get..….it doesn't allow the outside world to distinguish between the Tamil people and the LTTE. Of course, some would claim, either proudly or accusingly, there is no difference, and it's one and the same. Yet I can't but wonder, if the flags were put aside, if we'd garner more support for a very legitimate cause….
Anyways...just some thoughts.....
By Romesh Ratnesar - (click here for artcile)
My thoughts now.......For those that find themselves asking, what the international community can really do for the Tamils, here in this article are some answers. It's not about picking sides. Well, atleast it doesnt' have to be. Maybe Canada needs to understand this. But at the same time, maybe the Canadian government is confused. Maybe Canada thinks, if they were to talk for the Tamils they will be looked upon as sympathizers of Tamill Tigers, who are clearly declared terrorists in Canada. Can you blame them? Though the protests happening in Toronto, and around the world, have the best of intentions, the flying of the LTTE flags diminishes any strong support it might get..….it doesn't allow the outside world to distinguish between the Tamil people and the LTTE. Of course, some would claim, either proudly or accusingly, there is no difference, and it's one and the same. Yet I can't but wonder, if the flags were put aside, if we'd garner more support for a very legitimate cause….
Anyways...just some thoughts.....
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Why I am TWIGGED OUT!
Okay. I lied. I am in no way of being "twigged out" as they say in Twitterland. Yes, maybe you already heard. Maybe you received an invitation from me via twitter to join twitter. (Which by the way YOU obviously ignored/deleted or worse, is still unread!!!) News is, I am officially on the follow. Well, to be exact if I must. I am following three, two are following me. But keep in mind, this is only the beginning. If Ashton Kutcher can beat out CNN on receiving a following of 1 million tweeters and counting, I am sure I can ...hmm..let's say...get another 20 more to follow me? HA - I seriously doubt it. But nonetheless, baby steps are the beginnings. Oh ya, just so you know. Twigged out simply means, again in Twitterland, --- to be so hyped up on twittering that you cannot sleep. I am hardly there....trust me! Ask my followers if you must.
So what do I think of twitter? And what made me join it you ask? Well, for one. If you know me, I don't follow the mass. If everyone likes Ajith, I choose to like Vijay. If everyone likes Facebook, I choose to do blogs. It's just part of being me, shalini murugiah. I like people before they become famous, like Surya...I liked him waaaaaay before he started gelling his hair or wearing his shirt out. LOL....I liked him from his days in Nerruku Naer. Of course this doesn't mean, no one else liked him either. Except that the cult was small. I liked being part of the small group. It meant something. Of course, after Nandha and Pithagmagan that cult grew, especially after Kakka Kakka I would say. That's when all the teens, and tweens jumped in the wagon too. And I wasn't special anymore, and now he is not special to me. Anyways...the point is twitter sounded great because to me it was still unknown and untouched....
I think the concept behind twitter is just great. Such a simple idea. It's one of those things, that once you see how well it works, you are like, 'why didn't I think of it!'. Once you sign up on twitter.com, you can start posting instant messages of what you doing/thinking/eating/liking whenever, and wherever you want. This way your friends and families get to follow you, and see what you are up to too, and vice verse. Like I mentioned earlier, I am still new at this. I am still learning to maneuver around the site myself. If you get the chance, check it out. It might just take over facebook in the near future......so be ready....... (*I for one, can't wait for that day).
So what do I think of twitter? And what made me join it you ask? Well, for one. If you know me, I don't follow the mass. If everyone likes Ajith, I choose to like Vijay. If everyone likes Facebook, I choose to do blogs. It's just part of being me, shalini murugiah. I like people before they become famous, like Surya...I liked him waaaaaay before he started gelling his hair or wearing his shirt out. LOL....I liked him from his days in Nerruku Naer. Of course this doesn't mean, no one else liked him either. Except that the cult was small. I liked being part of the small group. It meant something. Of course, after Nandha and Pithagmagan that cult grew, especially after Kakka Kakka I would say. That's when all the teens, and tweens jumped in the wagon too. And I wasn't special anymore, and now he is not special to me. Anyways...the point is twitter sounded great because to me it was still unknown and untouched....
I think the concept behind twitter is just great. Such a simple idea. It's one of those things, that once you see how well it works, you are like, 'why didn't I think of it!'. Once you sign up on twitter.com, you can start posting instant messages of what you doing/thinking/eating/liking whenever, and wherever you want. This way your friends and families get to follow you, and see what you are up to too, and vice verse. Like I mentioned earlier, I am still new at this. I am still learning to maneuver around the site myself. If you get the chance, check it out. It might just take over facebook in the near future......so be ready....... (*I for one, can't wait for that day).
Monday, May 11, 2009
The March of the Tigers
So here are some pictures I have managed to gather. Please click on the forward icon to skim through the pictures. My suggestion to you is NOT to double click on the image, as it will re-route you to another page.
Anyhow, going back to what I was writting. To be truthful. Although I watched and listened to all the media coverage on this event, I still don't have an opinion on it. I really don't. Was this the right way about bringing attention? I DON't KNOW. Was it wrong to do so, to spill over onto a major highway of the city? Many seem to think so, but I still don't know. But above all this, there is only ONE thing that boggles my mind. Maybe someone can clarify. What is the purpose of flying the LTTE flags at these protests anyway? Contrary to what many may argue, the LTTE flag and the Tamil Eelam flag is not one and the same. The tamil people adopted the LTTE flag if anything, because it was only them they felt a kinship to, whether forced or otherwise. Anyways, my question is, must we really fly this flag? reallY? I don't believe it serves any purpose.
I might be wrong, but I doubt it......
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Why the best things in life never last forever...
I had a hard time finalizing the title for this blog. I was torn between two titles. Between, 'why the best things in life never last forever', and 'why the best things in my life never last forever'.
As much truth the second title holds, so does the first. Both speak of an universal truth does it not? That nothing lasts forever. Whether it's the heart felt, loud and breezy laugh, or the pouring of salty tears over hurt feelings, everything has an end. This simple truth, if not always easily accessed, does often creep up into the thoughts of those suddenly reminiscing the beauty of life. Or if you are like me, and those near and dear to me, the misgivings of life. So that's why I went with the title you see because just like me, for everyone too, the best things in life never last forever....
It's sad really. This apprehension of over looming sadness started when I finished reading 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' by Khaled Hosseini. The Afghan-American author of the highly acclaimed novel, 'Kite Runner'. I read Kite Runner first. It was devastating. It really was. I cried at the many facets of cruelty. If Kite Runner was devastating, A Thousand Splendid Suns killed me. The book, from beginning to end, from every page I read, the words paint canvases of absolute suffering. The story might have been fictious, but the suffering all too real. You realize reading this book, that for some, happiness happens only in passing. Just to be sure, this is not about reviewing this beautifully written book. But rather, it made me write, that life, however it might have treated you, is marked by the passing of fortunes, and many misfortunes.
As much truth the second title holds, so does the first. Both speak of an universal truth does it not? That nothing lasts forever. Whether it's the heart felt, loud and breezy laugh, or the pouring of salty tears over hurt feelings, everything has an end. This simple truth, if not always easily accessed, does often creep up into the thoughts of those suddenly reminiscing the beauty of life. Or if you are like me, and those near and dear to me, the misgivings of life. So that's why I went with the title you see because just like me, for everyone too, the best things in life never last forever....
It's sad really. This apprehension of over looming sadness started when I finished reading 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' by Khaled Hosseini. The Afghan-American author of the highly acclaimed novel, 'Kite Runner'. I read Kite Runner first. It was devastating. It really was. I cried at the many facets of cruelty. If Kite Runner was devastating, A Thousand Splendid Suns killed me. The book, from beginning to end, from every page I read, the words paint canvases of absolute suffering. The story might have been fictious, but the suffering all too real. You realize reading this book, that for some, happiness happens only in passing. Just to be sure, this is not about reviewing this beautifully written book. But rather, it made me write, that life, however it might have treated you, is marked by the passing of fortunes, and many misfortunes.
"She said, 'I'm so afraid. Because I'm so profoundly happy. Happiness like this is frightening. They only let you be this happy if they're preparing to take something from you."' - Khaled Hosseini
(To be continued....,)
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